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11/18/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Same name!

Dugie is upset Dugie can’t film Dugie getting metaphorically shoved down our throats.

That fez was wearing Cam. Sorrey!

Congratulations to Kim Ng on being the first female GM in professional sports. Can Mina Kimes be far behind?

Tony Robbins should be able to fix AB before the next blowup.

BJBSJ is non partisan. All democrats, independents, and republicans are welcome.

The NBA Draft is tonight? Why wasn’t I informed of this earlier? DARREN!

Bill the Coach is still trying to win football games because he’s scared Bill the GM is gonna whiff on a low draft pick.

Cakes are cooking for Linda Evans, Tony Franklin, Kirk Hammett, and Lee Anne Ketcham.

It’s also supposedly David Ortiz’s birthday, but, you know, “Dominican Birth Certificate.”

Anyone got any fleet jokes?

Quite the Masters, Dustin Johnson. Less time to get ready for the next one, though.

Have neckties gotten skinnier, or have I gotten wider? Both? Oh.

Happy trails, Theo Epstein. Next stop: Queens? Or Cooperstown?

Blehhh! Ernie Adams Weather Control Machine! Blehhhh!!!

These NHL Reverse Retro Jerseys have a real Malibu Stacy’s New Hat energy to them.

Gord Hayward.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “He was turning his life around.”

Nick Foles was the unwitting beneficiary of an unannounced beta test of an NFL rules change.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Mine is flat plain seltzer!

I get all my NBA insider info from pasty gayball wrasslin’ fans.

Do record stores sell records again? Pretty neat.

A game featuring Matt Nagy and Anthony Lynn coaching against each other would never end.

Looking out a dirty old window. Down below the cars in the city go rushing by. I sit here alone and I wonder why. Friday night and everyone’s moving.
I can feel the heat but it’s soothing, heading down. I search for the beat in this dirty town.

Trying to recognize people wearing masks out and about has let to some weird interior monologues, like “Is that Aunt Marge? No, it can’t be; she’s heavier. And dead.”

Beating a Harbro using a trick play just hits different.

Are we in the trust tree? Okay, good. I really liked the 2010 version of The A-Team with Li Neeson, Brad Cooper & Jess Biel.

WARRIOR Ice Arena. That’s it. That’s the post.

What’s next a new Baybank feature? Come on do better Twitter.

Too many chats!

When did I eat asparagus? What is going on?

Dave and Iron are in midseason form on their Entitled Town podcast. Which makes sense, actually.

Wow, that @bsp_13 sure is a smokeshow!

so the red sox held a press conference to re introduce and the owners would not be there…republicans say..bold move

No Wahlburgers grand opening in Springfield until April?

Honk if you remember the drought.

BJBSJ has voted unanimously not to certify Chard Finn’s totally real New England’s sports media poll after many, many voting irregularities were uncovered.

Dogs, bruh.

A Fisty/Lil Jerry buddy comedy: who says no?

Best bet for the weekend: Houston Texans being on the cusp of the brink of irrelevance.

Heh heh heh.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column

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11/11/11/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

I called him ‘Mister Celtic’. Not literally, though. Fare thee well, Tommy.

Heinsohn; a tough loss for Celtics fans, but is Jerry Remy the best color commentator in Boston sports history? – The Baseball Paper

Sports media love ‘teams playing to lose’ storylines almost as much as they enjoy giving each other awards. Almost.

The Masters golf tournament in November. A tradition unlike any other, and unlike any other.

First Abby Chin dies and now this? Oh wait, she just got let go? My bad.

Peter King got the ‘Cancer that killed Alex Trebek’ Daily Double question wrong.

Haha, remember all those covfefe jokes? Good times.

  • Tired: I’m joining The Athletic.
  • Wired: I’m joining Parler.

Here’s hoping Dave Mondillo get the J.T. Watkins treatment.

Cakes are cooking for Demi Moore, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jessica Mendoza, and Mark Sanchez.

Sure Jared Remy has had a few hiccups, but how come nobody ever investigated Tommy’s kids?

Hug your professional football team public relations directors a little tighter this morning.

In fairness, how would Volin get Cam’s jeans off with mittens on?

Good job illegally voting everyone.

Red Sox ownership must be kicking themselves that they didn’t delay the Alex Cora rehiring announcement and saved a week’s salary.

Blehhh!! Undrafted Free Agent Wide Reciever finds! Blehhhh!!!

How long is the In Memoriam segment of the B.E.T. Awards?

Tampa, when you have 3 WR1s, you have none.

Leslie Jones as Tommy’s replacement? Who says no?

A Treehouse Brewing taproom in every region of the Commonwealth. Sounds like a plan to me.

Donald J. Trump and Marisa Ingemi are free agents.

Hall of Fame Baseball Person > Federal Employee of Major League Baseball.

Why not Zoidberg?

The bottle of NyQuil hits different after Newton falls down twice on 3rd down.

Sweet and low and oh-so, little Ms. Dora Jarre.
Safe sex and fishnets and could you walk me to my car, pa?
She’s losing faith in a world that is out of control.
So she’s gonna nix politics, she’s taking up volleyball
volleyball! Why?

Not for nothing but the emo guy didn’t run away like he was Fragile Frankie Merman.

Who ate all the Frusen Glädjé?

Hey losers and haters, the Phrase that Pays is ‘I WON THIS ELECTION, BY A LOT!’

Hey gang of WEEI listeners, all 3.7 of you, the actual Phrase that Pays is ‘Organically tanking.’ Cute little phrase. sniff.

Honk if your parents were too cheap to get SportsChannel. #RIPTommy

I wonder if David Ortiz’s lookalike best friend Sixto ever voted using Papi’s ballot.

My neck is working on a bi-directional degree angle.

How have they not rebooted Silk Stalkings?

Easterby. That’s the post.

Proposed MBTA service reductions could really cut down on the number of fake suicide attempts by a noticeable margin.

More coffee for the rest of us.

Sorry if this edition is lighter than the Patriots front seven.

Best bet for the weekend: Eagles try for the upset against Notre Dame.

Let’s make this a meme, people.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. Thank a veteran.

Thank a pretend veteran too while you are at it.

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11/04/2020 Regretfully Rolling Back the Sports Junk Drawer Cleaning to Step 3 Phase 1

Not so much.

It’s 10:56 P.M.. Why are you out roaming the streets, caller?

October: Coaching Tree. November: Sophistry.

Please note that the BJBSJ Editorial Board also declined to endorse a candidate in 2016.

I still 55.

The dog ate Greg Bedard’s capologist.

Just as a heads up, your boy Dave Brown won’t respond to me when I say hi to him in real life.

A reminder that every major style guide–including the Modern Language Association Style Manual and the Chicago Manual of Style–prescribes a single space after a period.

Cakes are cooking for Delbert McClinton, Markie Post, Jacques Villeneuve, and Jan Apell.

This will be interesting: Sounds like the #Cowboys are leaning towards Garrett Gilbert as their starter after considering all options. But they want to see how Coooper Rush and GIlbert handle practice reps.

Hey Patriots fans: there’s a Ford in your future!

Update: BC is not back. BC is BC.

Like this shaggy dog story of a Red Sox managerial search won’t end with Alex Cora being brought back.

Foliage is kinda past-peak now.

It’s always nice when good things finally start happening to Tom Brady.

If I’m ever 60 years old and getting arrested for trespassing to please my favorite regional podcast host, please put two slugs in the back of my head immediately.

Is there anything funnier than election/erection wordplay? How’s that? A great deal many things? Oh.

NE already had a QB with the ability to fumble in the red area.

Is Bitcoin the plural of Bitcoin?

3 stolen livers = still 55.

If you didn’t leave the gayball chat, you would have known.

Gordon Hayward may opt out of the last year of his contract? It’s fortunate the Celtics have a lot of experience playing without him in the lineup, then.

Mountains.

Stop talking nonsense. You’re not leaving for Canada. And even if you did, you’re probably not getting your hat back from that stripper at that Montreal peeler.

This parade of nullities lining up to gleefully get their swings in on Bill Belichick would be disappointing were it not so predictable.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “What’s Bill’s motive?”

Earl Woods spacers, people.


Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief, looks up at his hero the Commander-in-Chief, Saying, Tell me great hero, but please make it brief;
Is there a hole for me to get sick in? The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly, saying, Death to all those who would whimper and cry.
And dropping a barbell he points to the sky, saying, The sun’s not yellow it’s chicken!

‘Tank your way to the Super Bowl!’ isn’t how it works.

Honk if you remember ‘Don’t blame me: I voted for Muffy’ bumper stickers.

My used car didn’t come with an owner’s manual. I have no idea how to change the clock to standard time. I hope someone can relate.

What, I’m going to have to go to the Ocean State Job Lot to get aluminum foil?

Los Angeles. Fake titties and fake titles.

I should have gotten this year’s copy of the Sears & Roebuck’s Wish Book by now.

Staying with Newton isn’t helping the ‘Bill was ready to sideline Bledsoe in favor of Brady even BEFORE Drew got hurt!’ storyline. It’s just not.

Sullivan’s remains open.

Best bet for the weekend: A Warren Zevon quote from Shank.

Hello?

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. Contains greater than 75% new material.

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10/28/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Oh no, Arthur. You went down to the field? Oh no. Just no.

Do two fake bubble titles equal one real one? If so, congrats and mazel tov to the city of Los Angeles!

Notice me, Dzensy!

Anyone broken this ‘Tom Brady Effect’ story yet? Everyone? Oh.

Where have all the punter/quarterback hybrids gone?

World Series hero Mookie Betts? Not so sure of that, Tone.

Is Jeff Garcia right about Cam? Was TO right about Garcia? IJATQC.

In other news today daniel jones with a weekend off..is making plans to go on a TRIP to see his family..rim shot.

How is it fair that Antonio Brown gets another chance and Marisa Ingemi doesn’t?

Cakes are cooking for Lenny Wilkens, Dennis Franz, Daphne Zuniga, Jami Gertz, and Julia Roberts.

Whoa.

No parades. Sad.

BC Football is back. That’s it; that’s the post.

‘Weapontown.’

Well, This Is Us premiered last night so we’ll probably see a bump in the suicide rate. TB12 will be vindicated.

I can’t beLIEVE Coach Bill didn’t want to create the appearance of a quarterback controversy!

’73 A’s-Mets. Darold Knowles P all 7 games. G1:Fingers in 6th, 3.1 IP, Knowles last 2 outs. G2-Fingers in 10th,2.2 IP, Mets win in Mike Andrews’s unjust nightmare. G 3 Fingers 11th inning save. G8 enter 8th, 4 out save. G7 Fingers in 6th, 3.1 IP, Knowles gets final out.

I love benadryl. It’s so mid.

I’ve already forgiven Cam for his dreadful mistakes against the Bills thanks to his refreshingly blunt self-assessments that his mistakes are ‘unacceptable’.

gonna eat 2 hotpockets and put cheerios on them

Having to wear a winter coat over your Halloween costume when out trick-or-treating never happens on TV or in the movies.

Chris Berman is at the ‘Bob Hope wearing a hippie wig’ phase in his career.

NHL 3rd Alternate Sweater SZN.

Tabasco is now trending. Tremendous. #Cowboys

The play where Cam “missed” N’Keal Harry in the first quarter it’s HOSS Z Juke vs two-high. Defense has 3 over 2 on seam-hitches. The read for Cam in that case is the juke route (Edelman) isolated on a LB. As much as you want Cam to hit this, its the right read IMO.

What’s the plan for this cheese?

Who is the guy in the NFL on CBS production trailer who makes sure there’s never a good angle on the replay on Patriots plays and why is he a Jets fan?

You never see an old man eating a Twix.

What the hell does Cam Newton wear for Halloween?

MAGA sportswriters at the Herald endorsed Trump. Well, that’s the way I heard it!

Can’t wait for the ‘Black Cats Matter’ Very Special Episode of Cat Detective coming this November on…CBS!

If you have an iPhone , I recommend using your notes app and keep your passwords there.

Red Sox Twitter is crying about declining Martin Perez’s option despite the small fact that he fucking sucks.

Hey gang, ghouls, ghosts and goblins, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Salem is Closed.”

Maltese naugahyde isn’t quite as good as Corinthian leather.

I want Jeff Benedict to write a book about me!

PayPal probably doesn’t have an email address of agnaes.rfoxcfctfoc@rfoxcfcscryt.zhug.mailmemekupdatinf.com, right? Didn’t think so.

The chipmunks, they move like they’re rendered at a different frame rate.

Got to pick up the phone I will call any number; I will talk to anyone.
I know I’m gone too far Much too far I gone this time and I don’t want to think what I’ve done.
Cause I don’t know how to stop, I don’t know how to stop.

There are always hidden silences. Waiting behind the chair.
They come out when the coast is clear. They eat anything that moves.
I go shaky at the knees. Lights go out, stars come down, like a swarm of bees. No self control.

A: Turnips.

#ShowtimeCam? JV.

Honk if you remember the 2011 Halloween Nor’easter.

It’s a good thing I unilaterally called for a spot audit of that 70 count mixed bag of Butterfinger/Baby Ruth/Nestle Crunch bars. Nine Baby Ruths! Shame!

Ah yes, the old Hitler costume bit.

Sixteen years ago Shank’s book started making the inevitable sad procession to the 99 cent remainder table. Good riddance.

Must be nice to win a World Series.

Best bet for the weekend: Bills fans acting like it’s 2002.

Wafers. Maybe next Halloween.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. You got to pick up every stitch. Two rabbits runnin’ in the ditch. Beatniks out to make it rich. Oh no, must be the season of the witch.

Must be nice.
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10/21/2020 Cleaning Up the Sports Sandwich Shoppe

Luscious Juicy Sandwiches.

Sounds anecdotal.

I’ve always wanted to fondle a pitching rubber and get John Tudor’s autograph, not to mention, put in writing how I feel about the trio of fartknockers that run this organization.

Voting at Fenway? Joe Moody must be quite busy today!

Sorry, folks. Never in my life heard of Twix. And many of you probably never heard of the Clark Bar. Anyway, everyone knows that if we were constitutionally restricted to one (1) candy, it would have to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. All you Twix freaks now have a moral obligation to go out and buy a month’s supply to keep your beloved candy in business.

Did you know the Red Sox traded Mookie? Zoinks!

Josh Allen? Not elite.

Cakes are cooking for Manfred Mann, Judith Sheindlin, Charlotte Caffey, Joey Harrington, and Kim Kardashian.

How many shares in the Red Sox do I have to buy to steal Linda from John? Would.

Steve Buckley coming out, and the fraud Ordway trying to come across as an advocate for sexual choice. He sat by silent while the revolving door of WEEI dickwads spewed anti-gay sentiment. Just recall when the gay marriage bill was in debate and how Glenn’s big ex-jock buddies ripped on that ad nauseum. They knew Buck was gay, and did this crap in his presence. Shame on Buck for his willingness to take a check at the expense of his own dignity, and shame on the gaggles of douchebags that put him in that dilemma. Don’t reinvent history and try to come off as supportive. All parties involved at WEEI are frauds and I’d expect nothing less at this point.

“Mother’s basement” is really a pre-WiFi insult. Now you can troll from anywhere in the house!

Also, I was today years old when I found out that Joe Buck is the son of Marv Albert. Gonna need a moment here.

Swishy. Sackface. And the Milkman’s Son. That’s it. That’s the post.

Last week, Dak Prescott gets hurt. This week, Dak Emrick announces his retirement. Some coincidence.

If Twix sponsored the ’67 Impossible Dream Red Sox Bobert would have crispy cookie and caramel smothered all over his mouth and down his chin every day.

You’re not changing my mind. In a way, never liking Kirk Minihane is an ADVANTAGE.

I wonder if there is a Boston Media Home for Little Wanderers? Butch Stearns and Pete Sheppard having morning coffee together. Doug Meehan cleaning the kitchen and complaining that Bob Lobel is a slob. Ted Sarandis coming home angry every night after yet another unsuccessful attempt to find a five dollar hooker.

Plain Black Hat is due to discover Midsommar next Summer.

Cool fall weather means it’s that time of year to stay inside, sit in a recliner in a dark room, and scratch your arms.

Tom Caron has always been a huge Liverpool FC. Yup, for sure, always.

If the day ends with a -y, then you can bet Trenni is on the hunt for men on Plenty of Fish.

He Got Game is retroactively bad because Ray Allen is a cunt.

Howdy, Taggers, Invisoneers, WordPressers and Slackers! This weeks Phrase that Pays is ‘Value-Pak Slap Mags!’ Honkies!

Does anyone know the fall hours at Whalom Park?

Can’t wait for the Red Sox Ownership Group to introduce Wally’s latest relative, ‘Financial Flexibility!’

Zoomy Zubes!

Mouse-wife to Mom-shell in the time it took to get that new tattoo,
tattoo, tattoo!

Well actually, the building is no longer structurally sound and a family of 6 squirrels is now homeless. In this economy? How will they survive? This is what happens in Trumps America.

“Behind the Scenes at WCVB” That’s a book I’d buy…
-Amalia Barretta…was she the reason for the breakup of Chet and Nat?
-Frank Avruch…was he really a legendary swordsman?
-Derm Keohane…most knew him as the ugly guy in the small box doing sign language on the morning news before closed captioning was invented…what you don’t know is what a prick he was!!!
-Clark Booth…did he really have a larger porn stash than Bin Laden?
-Captain Bob…his scandalous secret life and X-Rated etchings!!!
-Jim Boyd…the shocking items he hid in his afro!

UMass football probably needed more practice time, too.

When are we finally going to cancel Pete Blackburn for misappropriation of gay culture?

Honk if you remember Mr. Magoo.

You can’t WFH an RPO!

Merloni, with his dyed facial hair and mop is resembling “the Great Svengarlic”, the fraudulent hypnotist that walked the Three Stooges out onto a flagpole.

It’s Wape Wice, for the good times.

Best bet for the weekend: Joe Buck overload.

If anyone needs me I will be out walking my pet rat, ‘Ronald.’

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. Fare thee well, Robert LJ ‘HotDog’ “Bob from NH” Sandwich. You are missed.

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10/14/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

This is Titletown, not a Second Banana Town.

Honestly, throwing a COVID party if you are an NFL team isn’t a bad idea. Other than the lawsuits and fines and loss of draft picks and lifetime ban.

Joe Haggerty would take a victory lap over the Bruins not signing Taylor Hall but his doctors have strongly advised against it.

When Twitter’s algorithm is tech-splaining journalism to people IN the media, we have a problem. Their engineers don’t understand clickbait and the process of disseminating legit sources better than I do. If I wanna call out BS with a quote tweet, that’s my prerogative.

Play the goal-scorers, Coach Arena!

Saddened to hear about the loss of Joe Morgan. I still remember his magic in ’88. Six, two, and room temperature. Rest in peace.

Cakes are cooking for Ralph Lauren, Greg Evigan, Beth Daniel, Keith Byars, and Arleen Sorkin.

News Item: Tractor-trailer hauling bananas rolls over on Massachusetts Turnpike in Boston.

Unfair! Give Pat the ball!

Orange Line Update: Trains are returning to regularly scheduled service.

Dew they still brew Michelob, non Ultra?

#KirkWasRight

Now I have to go watch a Keith Olbermann clip just to see if he says ‘YouTube’ with the same disgust in his voice as Jack Horner when he says ‘videotape’.

The Patriots REALLY don’t want to play Denver.

NFL water carrier blurb intentionally left blank. Free RapSheet!

Julie DiCaro should read a book.

I guess I’m happy for Not-Donald Sutherland Guy? Question mark?

Alex Smith comes back Sunday. Dak Prescott gets seriously injured. Coincidence?

I feel that WEEI has short-sightedly denied all of us an incomprehensible Larry Johnson artwork of a tree twirling a coach’s whistle on a lanyard.

BOCHTOBERFEST!!

Hey there negative testing gang! This week’s Phrase that Pays is “domino effect.”

Knock-Knock. ‘Who’s there?’ No one really; it’s a set-up leading to a humorous outcome, often contingent on a play on words!

After he passes, and the Nets win a title, can they say they won it for Mike Tyson?

Jane Wiedlin; you lost it, kid!

#LetBSPCook. Only if she wants to. She’s not obligated to cook. Obviously.

Favorite UFC KO? The next one. KWAPOW!!

I love my leaf blower that pushes 950 cfm and goes through a gallon of mix fuel in under 90 minutes.

Sue Bird. That’s it; that’s the post.

Peace up, A-Town down,
Yeah, ok, lil’ Jon Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.

Who does Chris Berman look like now? Because it isn’t Chris Berman.

Bring back the veggie burger, Fenway!

Wait, I’m just not feeling my joints crack, other people can hear that?

I bet Bob Ryan enjoyed that bonus Tuesday NFL match.

Bummed.

Commas, how do they work?

A: Clyde Lovellette.

I want to run my team in Rogue Franchise mode in Madden 21.

Honk if you remember Roy Firestone.

I forgot to send Upton Bell a birthday card. I hope that doesn’t now make my team of writers all free agents!

NESN, always fair and balanced.

It wasn’t a muscle cramp Tony Romo. At all.

Hey stupid, maybe go running on Angel Moroni Boulevard, instead of way the hell out there on Puma Path.

Best bet for the weekend: An NFL source making Chris Mortensen look dumb.

Now they have time to star Off-Broadway in Iron Man: The Musical.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. And thank you to that demented Minifan who feels the to need to track @BJBSJournal’s follower count. We used to make the interns do that.

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10/07/2020 Vigilantly Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer Phase 3 Step 2 (Lower Risk Communities)

Oh my God! TRAMAPOLINE! TRUMBOPALINE!!

Upside to this Covid stuff is it gives Cam Newton some time to heal up that hamstring.

It took Glenn ‘Doc’ Rivers 72 hours to get a new gig. Marisa Ingemi remains on the market.

Alex Verdugo didn’t start on opening day!

Let me guess, all the doctors all said they’ve never seen an immune system so powerful! Just tremendously so.

Know what goes smooth with a pandemic? Tequila, that’s what.

Sometimes I feel like I have to hide my gifts to dumb it down to be a blogger. I study philosophy, I’m a scholar, I’m a nerd by trade, I just happen to be great at blogging because…

When you make fun of Trump by citing a very specific brand of skin bronzer, you may need some self reflection.

Cakes are cooking for John Cougar Mellencamp, Vladimir Putin, Judy Landers, and Dwayne Provo.

OMF 3.7 rating. Futility Lou is going to have to switch to store brand shoe polish.

Wait a second, BJ Deen is still a thing? How? Why?

I think instead of putting up the storm windows, folks now have their lawn sprinkler system winterized to signal the end of baseball season for the Red Sox.

Albert Haynesworth wasn’t called a ‘former Patriots player’ in any of the headlines about his arrest?

Kate Hudson is proof women with small boobs can be beautiful too.

Is that new Jake from State Farm on the same training regimen as Luke Voit?

Ha ! Hack Clown lol NAZI!!

So when a filly wins a Triple Crown Race, is the purse only 83% what a stallion would earn?

Bills just cut O’Hannon. They must really like the Polynesian kid at guard.

@stever324. Owning.

Could we give some of those Trump roids to Uppy and Eddie?

Big Norah O’Donnell fan.

You know who deserves another go-round at WEEI? Pete Sheppard.

Hmm. (nods) Peanut Tillman. Yes. I see. (nods)

Not happy with Brian Hoyer. Six seasons in Bill Belichick’s womb, and THAT is the result?

Wait, Cam Newton buys his canary yellow undertaker hats at the mall?

MCI, LAX, MHT, MCO, MDW, BOS, RSW…all of us at BJBSJ are also experts in airport codes bro.

“Hospital Balls and cover 2 RPOs will lead to many spider 2y bananas tonight, callers” – Sportney Fallon

Apfelkuchen!

Bill o brien..donesko..another failed belichick disciple

I say
I don’t like cricket oh no
I love it
I don’t like cricket no no
I love it
Don’t you walk thru my words
You got to show some respect
Don’t you walk thru my words
‘Cause you ain’t heard me out yet.

Brick and mortar retail is struggling, and Cam gets that. Thank you, Cam.

Honk if you remember week 4 of the 2014 NFL season.

Chris Gasper enjoys Hocus Pocus.

WEEI needs a fresh voice. I think Mikey Adams might just be the guy they are looking for.

Wait a minute. Can we take a second and discuss how the fuck BJ Dean is a real thing? How? Why, and furthermore Susan, faking the gay for internet clout seems highly problematic IMO.

Theodore S?

I know it’s the trite and obvious answer, but Eddie was always my favorite Van Halen lead guitarist. Rest in peace.

Pray for Easterby. Or against him. Your choice.

Best bet for the weekend: Remdesivir.

Edward. Lodewijk. Van Halen.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. Done on my Android phone when my laptop wouldn’t connect to the inta-net.

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09/30/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Nah. Can’t be.


The Association is going to gift the Lakers championship #17* because Kobe didn’t want to take the 101. Gentleman’s sweep of Miami incoming, book it.

Presidential debates just hit different.

Unbelievably, it seems like Minihane is a petty vindictive asshole who burns everyone around him. Who knew?

Pick up the looper on the stunt!

According to my Twitter feed, a lot of things cost more than $750.

Doc must really feel unloved now.

Dan Lifshatz’s win percentage went from astronomical to almost zero the moment his bets started to be independently tracked. Completely coincidental. Look for him to bounce back with a strong October.

Greenwich is the Seabrook of Connecticut. Very working class.

Cakes are cooking for Monica Bellucci, Jeremy Giambi, Martina Hingis, and T-Pain.

Good Sunday morning to the lovely ladies at #WCVB @kellyannwx @wcvbrhondella @Jennifer_Eagan. No chicken wings today (unfortunately) but we’re having chili dogs and pizza for the #Patriots game. Hoping my man Cam Newton has a big game today. heart heart heart

The word on the street is that Dale Arnold is quietly pushing for WARRIOR Ice Arena to be used as a polling station.

The #Texans had 5 safeties they planned to work out, including Earl Thomas. The workout is now TBD. With no deal in place and nothing imminent, Houston focuses on its next game and Earl Thomas’ wait continues.

Imagine being Nick Cattles and having to pretend that Greg Bedard is this wise old football sage that you’re lucky to receive weekly pearls of wisdom from, and then looking down to see you have six viewers.

I’ll vote for whichever one of these geezers is the first to offer Chris Wallace a Werther’s Original.

Least likeable Stanley Cup winner since Montreal in 1993.

Ms. Tanya Ray Fox is losing followers for being a good person, and YOU need to know about it!

Two weeks bereavement, Jimmy? Get over it!

For a TV on-air talent Abby Chin had the two things that we, her viewers valued in her abilities; we loved her and we trusted her.

Steve Buckley really loves telling the story absolutely nobody asked for.

Does Bellevue recruit from the KMS or vice versa?

Patrick Mahomes is a Planet Player. I wonder if enough people realize this.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is is “Andy Reid’s Endless Bags of Tricks!”

Pro Tip: You aren’t required to thank the championship winning city & team on Twitter! Honest!

Was N’Keal Harry telling Cam Newton about his fantasy football team?

We own it.

Only really be outraged about Breonna Taylor unless you’re 6 wins from winning an NBA title, AMIRITE?

Introducing the Table Boston challenge. Can you buy a meal there for less than $750?

Steve!

Dickerson said he was going away forever right? Pretty sure he said that.

Now our luck may have died and our love may be cold but with you forever I’ll stay. We’re goin’ out where the sands turnin’ to gold, now put on your stockings cause the nights gettin’ cold and everything dies, baby, that’s a fact but maybe everything that dies someday comes..back.

The Sandlot is a fine movie…if you’re 8 years old or a pedophile.

9/27/77 Game 2. Sox 5 Tor 1. Looie, Looie! 7 shutout IP. Stanley starts the 8th, but Campbell has to bail him out after Roy Howell HR and Ron Fairly 2B leaves men on second and third. Sox have now won 8 of 9. TOG: 2:33. Yes. a doubleheader in a combined 4:50.

Getting crowded at BJBSJ HQ, and at the Alternate Site.. May have to invest in bunkbeds.

Honk if you remember civil political discourse.

Just saying: last week’s episode of @EntitledTown was easily their best ever!

Yellow Labs are such windowlickers.

Best bet for the weekend: no-look UNDERHAND passes! Have you EVER!?

Yiiiikes.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBobert, Larry L, Josh M. and #the15 were used in this column. Put down that Busch Light.

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Sox Season Settled, Seatwarmer Sacked

Aloha means Goodbye, Steve Roenicke.

“It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall all alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops.” -Bart Giamatti

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09/23/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Allegiant Stadium *is* breathtaking.

Jason Whitlock is wrong about a lot of things. Katie Nolan being a complete zero? That’s not one of them.

Only a despicable ghoul would ‘can confirm’ James White’s father dying in an auto accident. RIP, Miami-Dade Police Captain Tyrone White.

And teasing a report of positive COVID test in the NFL? What is wrong with you people?!

No one is talking about how the Red Sox are going to set a new team record for fewest losses.

Can Doris Burke take Ginsberg’s seat on the Supreme Court?

Why doesn’t the Al Davis Memorial Torch come with granny glasses on a chain?

Paul’s Boutique is the best Beastie Boys record. I have the data.

Since Jeff Benedict is too scared to say it in his new book Dynasty, John Tomase is the Herald reporter who dreamed up the false story of the taped Rams walkthrough. That’s J-O-H-N T-O-M-A-S-E. John Tomase.

Cakes are cooking Marty Schottenheimer, Bruce Springsteen, Maren Jensen, Karl Pilkington, and Anneliese Van der Pol.

(SBD Football link goes here)

A network TV program getting nominated for an Emmy must feel like an AFC team reaching the Super Bowl in the mid 90’s.

Fall – not unlike tequila if you ask me.

All those injuries due to the MetLife Stadium turf? I hope nothing happens as a result of that to the sainted Mara family!

Update: They just called a foul on Theis.

I don’t want to say Rob Gronkowski is washed up, but he does endorse Tide Pods!

#LetChaimCook

Dynasty by Jeff Benedict is the best book I’ve ever read about Bob Kraft’s college bachelor years.

This. Leagie.

Is it sustainable for Ben Volin to conduct this much film study for a full 16 games? Just asking the question.

Walter Dyer is NOT Leather?

Aaron Rodgers has skateboarder calves. Eat an avocado one time. Weirdo.

I wonder if Mike on Route 1 ever thinks about the joy he stole from the world when he murdered our wittle angel?

How did no one submit a pic of Whitey to turn into a cardboard cutout to place in the stands at Fenway?

Dallas? Dallas has a hockey team? GTFO.

‘Aroused Blogger Chard Finn’ does has a certain ring to it

After listening to Kirk’s “defense” of Blind Mike the other day, odds that BM kills himself have been taken off the board.

Did the Antifa Marching Band perform at halftime at the Pats/Seahawks tilt?

Hope you had a pleasant autumnal equinox. That’s right: I say ‘autumnal.’

Hey hey hey, ba de ya, say do you remember?
Ba de ya, dancing in September,
Ba de ya, never was a cloudy day.

Pivettamania!

Hey gang of unasked-for sequel makers, today’s Phrase that Pays is “Climate change is making them highly aggressive toward everything!”

Land sakes, Ma; you buy a dedicated loaf of bread each week to feed the birds, you don’t have to give them the hamburger rolls too!

I could probably win an Emmy, if they carved out an entire category for me.

From the period of September 13th-19th, the NFL administered a total 36,664 tests to players and team personnel. A total of five tests were positive, with ZERO positive tests amongst players. Continued good work, dedication and discipline by all involved.

Honk if you remember Lum’s.

Yes, yes, we get it with the clever headlines, Bob Kraft is going to get off. Verrry droll.

Go see Tenet in a theater.

BC Football is back, baby!

BJBSJ was, in part, inspired by Katie Nolan doing whatever she does.

Best bet for the weekend: Frank Caliendo. Sigh.

Happy Mo Lewis Day, everyone.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. No deposit no return.

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