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BJBSJ’s First Theatrical Release

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll be asked to pay extra for your tickets and the movie will end prematurely!

Coming in July, BJBSJ proudly presents:

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2/8/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

-Funny thing about an Irish Vacation, not so many Irishmen.

-Has the Boston Globe put out a special pull-out section about how baseball has always accepted sign stealing with a wink and a nod yet?

-Maybe the Great Kid Pasta can do it all himself.

-It’s always adorable when Marck James pretends to be as mad at the Celtics not making a trade as he is when a co-worker won’t go on a date with him.

-That kooky British Royal Family, amirite?

-Cakes are cooking for Charo, Regina King, and Pitbull.

-It’s a good thing the Winter Olympics aren’t in Australia this year.

-Sergeant Slaughter: Stolen Valor?

-Remember- if Jerome Boger and his crew were competent, the Patriots would have had the #2 seed and the bye.

-“The Cincinnati Tackmen squad in 1905 had carrier pigeons deliver stolen signs to Manager Swede O’ Malvey right in the dugout. Swede died of smallpox in 1907.” – The Boston Globe

-Dale Arnold pronounces it ‘defencemen’. I can tell.

-Eddie Coyle needed better friends.

-ESPN treats the NHL like CBS treats west coast viewers of ’60 Minutes’.

-I’m hearing that Mrs. Chris Curtis will petition the court for joint custody of his extra skin.

-I hope the straw boater hat makes a comeback this decade.

-Correction: “Tinsel” is not a contraction of ‘tin icicle’, it comes instead from the old French word ‘estincelle’, making to spark or flash. BJBSJ regrets the error.

-Honk if you remember the Movie Loft.

-“Philadelphia Quakers manager Spats Hettinger had a team employee rig a sodium arc light to flicker to signal pitches in 1911. By an odd coincidence, an electrical fire burned Friendship Field to the ground later that season.” – The Boston Globe

-Those surveyors don’t look to be doing anything.

-Laura Petrie was better looking than Mary Richards.

James Naismith had no middle name? I’ve been lied to.

-BJBSJ had #FireCora first.

-Don Imus dead? How could they tell?

-The last time they had a Super Bowl without the Patriots, Ed Markey was still a representative and Liz Warren was still an Indian. Heyooo!

-Wiggy, Fitzy, and Mut? Oh My!

-When you’ve been force fed too much Family Guy, you’d kill for an NCIS: New Orleans at top volume.

-The KC Chiefs mascot looks like a Chuck E. Cheese escapee.

-Related, Dale Arnold calls him, “Charles. Entertainment. Cheese.”

-Where’s Bob Hohler?

-The CBS promos for ‘Prodigal Son’ and ‘FBI Most Wanted’., I can’t tell them apart.

-Peyton Manning has been quiet. Too quiet.

-Maybe Alex Cora could get an Apple Watch endorsement?

-I took some comfort that in the Patriots ‘down year’, the Steelers still sucked.

-Honk if you remember Micronauts.

-Another year without a Super Bowl, means Aaron Rodgers had more time to go antiquing and to linen auctions, or whatever he does with Danica Patrick.

-Do they still make those Roos sneakers with the pockets?

-Kobe had to be thinking, “knocked from the top three NBA scorers…what else could go wrong this weekend?”

-Red Sox missed a golden opportunity not making Jason Varitek the manager.

-Bone Iver is pronounced “Bone Ivair”?

-Miami gets the Super Bowl, Orlando gets the Pro Bowl. Perfect.

-I’m pretty sure I caught the coronavirus at a meat market some years back, but that was at spring break in Cancun, not Wuhan.

-Absent evidence to the contrary, I’m going to assume that Billie Eilish has a Dominican birth certificate.

-The Red Sox didn’t make Dustin Pedroia the manager, either?

-Tanya Tucker…you still got it kid.

-“Kobe ‘Bean’ Bryant”? Or as Dale would call him, “Kobert. Legume. Bryant.”

-Is “He Hate Me” coaching in the XFL?

-AB gotta be AB. That’s what makes him AB.

-Known recluse Mike Eruzione is writing a book?

-So what happened to Nipsey Hussle? Leukemia?

-Ironically, it was the box of suds that got me here.

-To everyone saying it’s ironic that Kobe died the day after Lebron passed him in scoring. Even Alanis Morrissette knows you’re using it wrong.

-Honk if you remember “Candlepins for Cash”.

-Steve Grogan is not the Red Sox manager, either?

-Just to be safe, I got a flu shot. Couldn’t hurt. Except it did.

-So Chris Curtis has been out ‘recharging his batteries’? Is that what the interns are calling it these days?

-YOU didn’t play in the Super Bowl this year, caller!

-Kobe was killed, and it was all setup. At least that’s what my new roommate says.

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BJBSJ I-Team: The Latest on Greg Bedard Leaving Las Vegas

As usual, it seems Greg Bedard is telling Almost The Truth.

Yesterday, the BJBSJ I-Team reported the Las Vegas Review-Journal’s confirmation that Greg Bedard was no longer employed and refused further comment.

As recently as yesterday, Bedard had ‘NFL writer, Las Vegas Review-Journal’ in his Twitter bio. The Journal Review did not have Bedard listed as a columnist.

A Las Vegas source tells BJBSJ today that Bedard was fired by the Journal-Review for “insubordination” and dissatisfaction with his social media posts. The source believes Bedard was fired on Monday, January 20th (13 days before the Super Bowl), which would make sense as Bedard did not attend Super Bowl LIV or take part in Radio Row in Miami the week before the game. His last Review-Journal column was posted on 1/12/20. Bedard kept his LVRJ reference in his Twitter bio until BJBSJ’s report yesterday.

On Saturday, January 25 in a Boston Sports Journal members chat – 5 days after our source says Bedard was fired by the Review-Journal – Bedard was asked about his LVRJ work and responded cryptically.

That same day on Twitter, he boasted about his indefatigable work ethic:

This constant #Cullening makes complete sense, as Bedard is a former Globie.

While Bedard has removed LVRJ completely from his Twitter profile, his profile still refers to his other former media employers:

What happened in the 2.5 months Almost-A-Longterm Employee Bedard worked at the LVRJ to have him scrub his time there from his employment history? What is Almost-A-Cullen hiding?

We’ll continue to dig.

While Charred Finn plans Alex Verdugo’s Welcome Party, BJBSJ has it first.

Oh, Greg? Hi.

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Greg Bedard is Home!

After some soul searching(cough)lost his job in Vegas(cough), Greg Bedard is back and ready to reaffirm his commitment to his Wicked Diehard subscribers.

BUT!

What is the truth?

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Las Vegas Review-Journal Columnist Greg Bedard? I don’t see it. At all.

Friend of BJBSJ @bucknerslegs tweeted earlier today that Greg Bedard no longer works for the Las Vegas Review Journal, and it checks out as of 5:17pm ET on the Las Vegas Review Journal:

BJBSJ has confirmed with the Review-Journal newsroom this afternoon that Bedard is no longer an employee.  At all.  Bedard’s last piece for the LVRJ was posted on 1/12/20.

Bedard, the Not So Grand Poobah of the unlamented and unremarkable Boston Sports Jourinal has repeatedly come under fire since starting his Hyperlocal Vanity Project in 2017. The most recent criticisms for spinning ripping yarns for disarming convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez (presumably due to boredom) came from Barstool Sports’ Kirk Minihane Show.  Minihane’s discovery of Bedard’s serial #Cullening has also been a subject on the Entitled Town Podcast, hosted by Dave Brown of the Concord Monitor and I. 

It’s also noteworthy that Bedard’s investigation into hiring virulent homophobe and racist Mike Loyko appears to have, much like his working capital, petered out.

Bedard may still be #cullening, becuse as of 6pm ET today, he still has LVRJ in his profile:

While Charred Finn leads a rendition of “Sweet Caroline” at Truck Day, BJBSJ has it first. Again.

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Where in the World is Greg Bedard?

Greg Bedard, lately of the Las Vegas Review Journal, has been strangely absent from the paper since January 12th, where he was seen polishing Houston Texans Head Coach Bill O’Brien’s apples to a Felger-like glow.

People have noticed, despite the spiraling drop in the popularity of his bostonsportsjournal.com. Bedard addressed the question recently but gave no direct answers to his Wicked Diehard subscribers in a recent chat on BSJ:

Bedard also skipped the Super Bowl, which is HIGHLY IRREGULAR for a national NFL writer for a major metropolitan daily newspaper, especially one based in Las Vegas.

This is amusing, because Greg is the hardest working man in the news business. Just ask him. While all of this vacation and sabbatical is occurring, Bedard drops a tweet dripping of Cullen.

No Days Off

Dissatisfied with all this secrecy and half answers, BJBSJ’s own Ironhead, @ironhead334 reached out to the newsroom at the LVRJ to get down to the brass tacks of the situation.

Per our source in Sin City, “Greg Bedard is no longer employed by The Las Vegas Review Journal.”

Where this leaves Bedard is anyone’s guess. Rumors have been circulating for close to a year Bostonsportsjournal.com has been offered for sale high and low, with the Athletic, a private buyer, and, (stifles giggle) Jonathan Kraft rumored as being approached to take on the struggling site. Bedard is also rumored to have approached investors looking for as much as a 6 figure cash infusion. Regardless, the site has been clearly been struggling with new subscriptions nonexistent and longer subscription plans being removed from the sites offering.

What’s Greg’s next stop you ask? We’re all in on Chapter 11.

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Greg Hill – World Class Fuck Face and Shitty Web Sleuth

Look at this dipshit:

So it didn’t take Sleepy Salkie long to dip his fat toes in the shit stirring waters. Aside: Greg, congratulations on not catching whatever *cough* virus *cough* Danielle dragged into the studio from her weekend.

It didn’t take long for 60 something year old Chachi wannabe/surfer girl Mike Giardi to jump in:

Meanwhile, what’s the truth? Has Tom Brady chosen to raise his children as wispy Greenwich douchebags in the mould of Bill Simmons? Will they have bad backs while trying to do the behind the back? Au Contraire!

Hey look, it’s the same house!

If only there was a way to determine who owns real estate on a county by county or town/city basis. Hmmmmm…

What’s a sleepy internet sleuth to do?

Nothing, it turns out.

Intermission:

Thankfully friend of the program @bucknerslegs had the foresight to do a simple deed search. What he found will scare that fat, sweaty tits off of Greg Hill. Okay, that’s a lie. Nothing’s slimming fatboy down.

But I digress…

What does all that mean? For starters, Adam and Hayley Fisher are probably very happy in their new home. It also means that Tom and Giselle, and the kids are not co-habitating with them.

What should we think of the rest of this abortion birthed by Surfer Girl and Sleepy Salkie? BJBSJ is put on the awkward position of siding with Brady houseboy Tom E Curran. Briefly. But then again, Tawm does know which of the maids is stealing the silverware.

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The Curious Case of Marc James and the Purloined Globe

How do you steal something that has no value?

From one of our moles:

Thought you guys might get a kick out of this… Marc ‘with a C’ James is obviously a huge loser. After what I saw, the ‘C’ stands for cheapskate. I was walking into a Walgreens in Somerville at the same time as him. I recognized him but had no interest in talking to him. I walk up to the atm which is to the left of the entrance as you walk in. James walks to the back of the store and then immediately walks back to the main entrance. He stops at the newsstand to pick up a Boston globe. Flicks through it a few times before walking out with the paper and no payment. I leave seconds after him and I see him put the paper on the front seat of his BMW before walking over to Leone’s sub shop on broadway. What-a-boob

Our narc, “ Boston globe was the only newspaper on the rack“

Being the capital J journalists that we are, we reached out for comment to James:

“Lol! That is hilarious. It was actually a Walgreens coupon flyer. I already have an online Globe account anyway. I wouldn’t use that fish rag for toilet paper! By the way, I find your tweets hilarious. Keep up the great work.

We don’t even have a media aspirationz podcast and the little pat on the back gave us a new sense of purpose.

We’ll leave guilt and innocence to you, dear reader, and the loss prevention staff at Walgreens. The eye in the sky sees all.

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1/22 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

-But I was told everything goes the Patriots way! That furry headed dildo lied to me!

-Do you think the medical examiner put the envelope with David Stern’s death certificate in the freezer?

-BC got UMass-ed in whatever Ridiculously-Named Bowl Game they were in.

-There’s a vacancy at the top of the QADS force, Freddie Kitchens.

-Andre Drummond? What’chu talking about?

-Brad Stevens’ Celtics are rolling ten deep! Approve!

-The great kid Pasta can’t do it all himself, B’s.

-Phil’s legally dead. Fell off a boat.

-Heard that John Henry was in a 7-11, mentioning loudly how thirsty he was, yet didn’t get a Big Gulp. He must be serious about getting under the luxury cap.

-This “Lego Masters” show is a complete rip-off of Shel Turteltaub’s Lincoln Logs program idea.

-Did Doris Burke purchase Carrie Fisher’s dentures at auction?

-What possesses a person to decide they want to be in the audience for the Steve Wilkes Show?

-NRG Stadium? I get it.

-Anyone who thinks Zolak is good at his job didn’t listen to the second half of the Titans game.

-Did Dale purchase any of the TD Garden’s old yellow seats?

-Oh My God, do you believe that thing that happened at the Golden Globes?

-Maybe shake up the lines, Bruce?

-Honk if you remember the Mister Donut jingle.

-Do you ever have your ear pop, and it’s like you have a bionic ear like the Six Million Dollar Man? Of course you don’t; it was the bionic woman who had augmented hearing.

-The Irishman was too long? That’s not something you hear all the time. Heyoooo!

-I wish Tom Brady had played long enough that we could judge whether or not he’s comfortable with his last pass in a Patriots uniform being a pick six in a Wild Card game at home.

-Best bet for the weekend: a continuing Boston sports media embargo.

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1/Whenever Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

-Where have I been, you ask? Covered in bubble wrap until the playoffs. Chewed my way out.

-Good work Clemson. You took what’s yours (against Ohio, anyway).

-The Bruins didn’t have a New Year’s Resolution about winning an overtime shootout?

-How do we know that time traveling assassins from the Dominican Republic didn’t murder Esther Rolle after mistaking he for David Ortiz?

-I hope whoever had the Celtics voodoo dolls their magic expired in 2019.

-You have to take the points there.

-ESPN treats the NHL like it’s the Tiffany Trump of pro sports.

-Hawaii Five-O and Magnum P.I. should not be on the air at the same time. There; I said it.

-The aughts use have been an easy time for novelty New Year’s Eve glasses designers.

-Cows = Creative.

-Aunt Gertie isn’t at Elliott’s for Christmas in that E.T. Comcast commercial because she’s in rehab again, amirite?

-No losing team won their division, those obviating the case for playoff reseeding must have had pumpkin headed fishwife Peter King crying into his hint of citrusy beer.

-Now is Dick Clark dead, or just presumed dead, like Casey Kasem?

-Prediction: Weird Celtics Twitter gets even weirder in 2020!

-Wait, there’s a Brad Dorff, and a Stephen Dorff?

-“Bleahh, Belichick Coaching Tree! Bleahh!!”

-That epic snowball fight filmed on an iPhone 11 looked to have wayyyy more rules in place than most other snowball fights.

-Honk if you remember “Weekend at Bernie’s 2”.

-Get well soon, cut-by-a-skate NHL Guy.

-You gotta take the elevator to the mezzanine, chump.

“It requires neither courage nor prescience to predict disaster. Courage is required of the man who, when things are good, says so.” – John Kenneth Galbraith, obviously not a 98.5 The Sports Hub caller.

Best bet for the weekend: freezing cold or unseasonable warmth, one of the two.

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