Dan Shaughnessy on Nepotism?
It’s not the malicious and defamatory misuse of past events by old Shankapotomous that caught my eye today. No, I think we’re all pretty much used to the CHB being willing to crawl on his belly for a cheap pop. He’s been doing it for 30 years and every time the Krafts don’t invite him to breakfast during Super Bowl week, he vows to do it for 30 more. But if you’re reading this you already know the highlights: Boston Globe, no standards, Boston’s Bravest Columnist has skin thinner than a bowl of pudding, etc.
No, there’s one concept that caught the eye of BJBSJ today. Nepotism. It was beyond brave, heroic even, of Shank to bring nepotism into the discussion today. And quite frankly, I can’t think of anyone more capable of spotting it than the man who has turned to it so often.
As some of you may remember, Shank’s #1 son had a small jam up in Brookline several years ago. Here are a few small threads from the rich tapestry of the police report to revive your memory:
“ I instructed him to have a seat on the curb after observing that SHAUGHNESSY had several abrasions to the knuckles of his left hand, a torn left pants leg approximately mid length of his blue jeans in the area of his knee and appeared to have urinated himself “
SHAUGHNESSY, who was still handcuffed, suddenly began shouting “I am a federal employee for Major League Baseball”, “I am De Jesus”, “I am the first coming” where then then raised both his feet above his head and began kicking in a backwards motion in the direction of Officer N. Brother who was standing at the head of both gurneys.
You can read the rest of the ugly details here:
Needless to say, there were some prophetic words spoken in the ER that night. For young Shaughnessy managed to wrangle a plum internship with Major League Baseball shortly thereafter. We are unsure if he was in fact federalized, but it’s a wonderful feat nonetheless to be chosen from so many thousands of worthy applicants.
In addition, sources from inside and directly involved tell us that the Boston Herald had the information on the arrest as well as the police report and were ready to publish the story. But out of nowhere, one of Boston’s Bravest city fathers called the Herald Sports desk and was miraculously able to convince the tabloid that it was better not to publish for the good of the city.
Not all angels have wings and not all heroes wear capes.
And you would think our story would end there but no. Separate sources say that despite Dan’s thoroughly honest treatment of the team, at least one of the CHB’s daughters was able to obtain an internship with one of Red Sox owner Tom Werner’s companies. Again, after another exhaustive nationwide search for talent, Werner was able to secure the services of the best – from right within the shadows of his own press box. Be still my heart – the luck!
They’re just high achievers, obviously. So much so that they’re able to overcome the reputation their father unfairly carries and excel on their own merits.
It fills my heart with love.