More Like Rub-it Kraft Amirite?
From the editors
An arrest warrant was issued for Patriots owner Robert Kraft by police in Florida in connection with handjobs alleged to have occurred at what appears to be a high class massage therapy location, best described as “Check Cashing Adjacent.”
While the editors here obviously feel bad for these whores and in no way condone or support human trafficking unless it involves shipping Lou Merloni to Sioux Falls for a sports radio man to be named later, the ensuing feigned outrage has been nothing if not predictable. Dale Arnold used his Very Serious And Important breaking news voice, displaying his inflated sense of his own journalistic chops. It’s all very speculative at this point at this point, you see.
Meanwhile, fans of loser franchises such as the Steelers (who feature a rapist at quarterback) and Jets (who last won a Super Bowl the same year Mary Jo Kopechne took driving lessons from another noted Palm Beach cocksman) have taken to the internet for victory laps. Like if Red Sox fans had gloated about Steinbrenner being exiled, it’s the hollowest of victories. Win something, then you can climb on your high horse about Jim Irsay hoovering up pills as he strangled that poor lady.
All this being said, Owner Kraft has been dead to us for years. Be it using Lombardis/retired players/wounded veterans as human shields, to Deflategate, to Goodell, to the sneakers, to Meek Mill. Never mind all the comedy he played with that young girl. His uncommon neediness and canned platitudes have always been a hold-your-nose aspect to this fandom. Which is fine. But it’s a cautionary tale we should all take under advisement: Owners are uniformly terrible, and throwing in with them beyond appreciating that they write a check and stay out of the way is a losing proposition.
We can all expect the usual suspects (though I’d expect caution from the Flagship Station on this one) to seek their pound of flesh, especially with the Trump angle. One note of caution, to a certain furry headed dildo at the Baseball Paper: Be careful with this one. Be very careful.
Authored by Mike on Route 1