Unhappy Washburn Vows Better Outcome In 2020

Boston Globe Celtics beat writer Gary Washburn is clearly still steaming from his first round exit in the BJBSJ March Sadness tournament.

After falling to perennial powerhouse Big Gym Worry in an embarrassing rout, the long time scribe who’s name is on the tip of absolutely nobody’s tongue at any time ever has conceded that his body of work was lacking in the hot takez department and that’s what set him up for failure in the eyes of the committee.

Jim Murray wins going away. Washburn shit himself in this match up. He did!

Washburn decided to show just how serious he is about next year’s contest by dedicating himself to the takez effective immediately.

“He knows he can’t wait. The resume has to be beyond reproach, and that’s something that requires a 365 day a year grind type approach” a league source told BJBSJ under the condition of anonymity.

Washburn dropped a bomb and raised eyebrows Sunday night, by suggesting the struggling Boston Celtics commit basketball suicide by adding the shriveled corpse of Carmelo Anthony after their loss to the Houston Rockets. An impactful first step in the struggling scribbler’s attempt at redemption.

Celtic seppuku suggested by Washburn

In two years Anthony has been traded by the Knicks (!), Thunder, and Rockets, and has been released by the Hawks (!) and Bulls (!), all while being so rancid that his best friend “Bron” wont even sign him to the *Lakers (!)

*Editor’s note: AND ALL OF “BRON’S” FRIENDS GET SIGNED. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST “MELO” IS AWFUL. #THISLEAGUE #SOPETTY

“Seeding is crucial. You can’t just go out there and wing it and expect to win when we have the number of absolute psychopaths that we do in this sports media market, and he knows that” another source added.

Suggesting that a team full of players that are struggling with what their roles are add a washed up guy that can’t move and hasn’t been honest with himself about his role for years is objectively a flaming hot take.

While he took a nice step today, it’s fair to ask questions. Will this old slug be able to keep this up longterm?

Hell if I know, I’m just asking.

Old slug

Meanwhile, The March Sadness voting continues. You can have your voice heard here.

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Author: vigilantejournalistbjbsj

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