98.5 The SportsHub is the number one radio station in the Boston market – an unfortunate fact, not opinion. Joe Zarbano’s wildly successful Ratings Tankapalooza over at WEEI is a big factor, but despite all logic 985 is a runaway success. How in the world does this happen month after month?
Industry experts have long agreed having a successful morning show is a key component of a profitable and popular radio station. Let’s delve into this one: BJBSJ takes a closer look at 98.5’s leadoff hitters.
Hey, guys… hey.
Toucher and Rich are the morning show for people who don’t like funny. Are they a local morning show? That depends on whether you consider Atlanta or Detroit local. Their knowledge of sports while appearing on a sports station proved problematic, so Jon Wallach was brought aboard to give The Zookeepers some local sports bonafides. Wallach is undeniably talented if being a boring object of derision is talent, but sadly his knowledge of Boston sports is as feeble as Fred’s arms are spindly.
Fred Toucher – a man whose dye job makes Futility Lou Merloni’s look good – once threatened to hire a private eye to find the mean tweeting men that make him SO MAD. A nickel’s worth of free advice for Fred: switch to decaf, double the Zoloft, and get better at your burner Twitter account game. Human slide whistle Rich Shertenlieb – WHO LOVES CAPITAL LETTERS – is emo Don Orsillo. Their competition is Mike fucking Mutnansky, which mean Touch, Rick and Bird replace Lou Gehrig as the luckiest men on the face of the Earth.
Full disclosure: I can’t stomach this show for very long. Occasionally, they’ll have a good guest like Mike Gorman, but at the end of the day, I find Toucher and Rich offensive, and it’s not offensive because I’m Jewish.
Steak and eggs!
BJBSJ Rating for TOUCHER AND RICH: 1.5 out of 5 ZOINKZ