Here at #BJBSJ we suffer for our craft. You the reader want the best of the worst, and we deliver. No one else in the area (or the world) is willing to sacrifice 2 hours of their time (and sanity) to watch an upstart web series hosted by a sportz radio update reader. Well, we watched so you didn’t have to. At all. And trust us, you shouldn’t.
Consider this your RottenTomatoes-ish spoiler-filled guide to “Treat Yourself”. This might be a bit long, so brace yourself. Just don’t kill yourself. The pain is going to ease in on you like a gas bubble gurgling in your stomach.
So every episode begins with a radio being turned to……yep! You guessed it! 98.5!
Because non-mouthbreathers need to know what slapdick radio station you are from.
Every episode also begins with “TREAAAAAT YOURSELF” said in a funny, not-really-annoying-but-so-annoying-you-want-to-pull-your-ears-out-of-their-sockets way! Like one episode where you’re taken back to the 80s and you hear Madonna’s “Express Yourself” but really you hear “TREAT YOURSELF”!
The first show kicks off with Big Gym struggling to get across why he wanted to do a YouTube show in the first place. Nerves are a normal thing especially when you do something unfamiliar or new. But, when you are a semi-unpopular score reader on a radio show, it should come natural to….talk. He then gets arrogant and starts to say that the local restaurants should BACK OFF on asking him to recommend their place, because he knows this show will be such a hit, they will be begging him to do it.
Now for the recommendations. Your usual hangout bars and spots to go to before a Bs or Cs game. But he refers to this sign as a “warm glow of electric sex”. Huh?
He reviews Halftime Pizza in Boston, but uses this picture to show how appetizing their food looks. 🤢
Pass the napkins. And then, insert a typical guy from Boston to say how good the place is. How much did you get paid for this my guy?
The second episode is all about steak! The thing that 100% of his viewers and listeners absolutely can’t afford! (Unless the steak has an -umm next to it) But “Treat Yourself!!”
He starts off by trying to explain to the masses why there was a month delay between episodes 1 and 2. Because the masses were clamoring. And when we say masses we mean one massive dummy.
He blames the long hiatus (too long according to YouTube algorithms) on the Patriots’ “unexpected” run to a 6th Super Bowl title. Because in 30 days you can’t produce 5 minutes of content. “Episodes will be done on a more consistent basis.”
Please note that the time between episodes 2 and 3 was 2 and a half weeks!
Big Gym also brags about the first episode getting 3k views in a week. That first show now has 7k views and it’s been out for almost 3 months. Not good. Other channels that do similar things he does gets hundreds of thousands of views A DAY.
And now a shoutout to #BJBSJ colleague @PainDidntHurt and his Big Gym Blotters that you can find elsewhere on here. Big Gym running out of ideas, shows a bit of his menchies here.
Here’s a picture of an egg dish that, when referring to it he says, “Once ya break that yolks and it jizzes all over”. Appetizing, right??
Let’s show you one YouTube comment on this particular video. We’ll get to others later.
Is he? Not if he’s telling people to go to Grill 23. Let’s do a Google search and see how affordable Grill 23 is, huh?
Man of the people? Sure if those people are the President and Bob Kraft.
Thankfully the last episode is the shortest of the first three. It’s all about something else the common man can afford…..ART! But he’s so lazy that he outsources the entire episode to an old WFNX DJ. So it isn’t even about art that he likes.
But here’s the best part. At the end of watching this tortuous show, he asks people to give him their addresses so he can send them gift cards. He doesn’t say where to or what for.
And now to what you’ve not been waiting for….the YouTube comments!!! (See if you notice a theme here, and see if you notice a repeat commenter or two.) I recommend taking a nice shower before reading these.
To finish off one comment of zen.
Thank you Dave Nice. It is now time to wash these eyeballs out and use a Men In Black memory eraser.
If you want the live Instant reaction here is the link to that thread.
— Lazy Outrage Person (@AtomicDawg5150) March 23, 2019