Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer: Emergency All-AB Edition

Stuff heard around the water cooler.

compiled by the BJBSJ interns.

I question the timing.

NB: This could be hopelessly out of date by the time of publication.

And also: The official BJBSJ position is that sexual assault is bad.

Whatever happens, this is going to be one hell of an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Ripped from the headlines!

I’m guessing Antonio didn’t major in English at Central Michigan. Maybe Creative Writing?

And on-subject; those incoherent messages must make English teachers long for that ‘We Ready. We Ready. We Ready, For Y’all’ NFL promo song.

Why are no wokeness points being awarded for ostensibly irredeemably raaaaacist Boston sports fans closing ranks around AB? Intersectionality is hard.

Ew, I just called him ‘AB.’ I need a shower. Kind of like the trainer lady! (rimshot)

If Brown *did* stay at Tom’s house, he probably had to sleep on the couch brother-in-law Youk sweated through last visit.

Clearly this case needs to be removed to fanboy Judge Berman’s court.

Let’s not lose sight of the real three time victim here: everyone who drafted Brown in their Fantasy Football Leagues.

And no, considering the team’s history with false accusations and being pilloried in the ‘court of public opinion’, it’s not hypocrisy for Patriots fans to give Brown the benefit of the doubt.

It’s dismaying how many long-time Patriots fans who joined Twitter in September 2019 have decided signing Antonio Brown is the final straw in their enjoyment of watching ‘their’ team.

At least NE fans can take comfort that all the other fans calling for AB to be suspended (or worse) are doing so exclusively because of a sincerely held legitimate concern that justice be done. What?

Yes, media guy, Bill was going to break with tradition and answer *your* question about Antonio Brown’s off-the-field activity prior to his becoming a Patriots player.

But man, for 17 hours or so, it was like January 2002 all over again.

I’m legit curious how the Minifans are going to connect this to Murchison.

OK, I’m going to say it; Pittsburgh needed an Easterby.

You have to wonder if Antonio Brown learned this allegedly disgusting behavior from T**mp. What other explanation is there?

Thanks for all the much needed updates as to Brown’s uniform number and locker placement.

A lot of ‘NE doesn’t have to have AB active to win in Miami! 77-0! Cakewalk!’ predictions going around for Sunday’s game. Makes me uneasy.

Did New England even *need* another 5’10” receiver?

It’s too bad former Patriots Dave Meggitt and Kellen Winslow II are unavailable for comment.

I’m starting to think this AB is an odd cat. How ’bout you?

Not so odd that he feels the need to add ‘Sr’, to his name on the back of his jersey, but still.

Well, if New England manages to win some games despite the distractions provided by Antonio Brown, the rest of the league will finally have no choice but to admit grudging respect for the team.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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