Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer 10/9

A nice Sunday to go apple picking, yes? Maybe.

Waiting for the Boston Globe to congratulate the Red Sox for their efforts in fighting childhood obesity by reducing the number of ‘kids eat free’ promotions at the Ninety Nine after wins this season, as compared to last.

Bobos think the Patriots can paper over their offensive shortcomings in time for tomorrow night’s game. Honks won’t admit the team has problems on offense.

Is ‘Halak and Alas’ the Bruins backup netminder answer to the ‘Boo Hoo Tuukka Crew’ dumb phrase at 98.5? If not, they are welcome to it.

The way I see it, this NBA/China crisis is a case of danger plus opportunity.

Kudos to the Minnesota Twins on a job…done.

The Connecticut Sun could win the WNBA Finals Thursday. Or Washington Mystics head coach Mike Thibault could win his elusive first title.

Dan Fouts has a walking case of CTE: Can’t Talk Enough.

Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see. Believe me.

Which NL teams have the momentum? Hard to say.

I bet the worst thing about being the Postmaster General is the rare times when you have to disapprove a mailbox design.

Being tasked as bullpen catcher with keeping Derek Lowe out of the NU dorms prematurely aged poor ousted Red Sox pitching coach Dana LeVangie. Here’s hoping his new assignment is less stressful.

With his poor handshake etiquette one might think Baker Mayfield was from Natick!

UMass Football is saving it’s point scoring for the critical Homecoming Game versus UConn. Probably.

Cakes are cooking for Robert Wuhl, Mike Singletary, and Henrik Zetterberg.

The only mafia that doesn’t deny its own existence is Bills Mafia.

The makeshift table unhurriedly collapsing atop that hopefully not dead Bills Mafioso’s prone form in that viral Nashville tailgate video was like something from a Chuck Jones Roadrunner cartoon.

I hope Greg Bedard can bring closure to the Mike Loyko investigation before he inevitably shutters his site.

In the time it took you to read this far, Delaware North has stuffed another 56 seats into the TD Garden.

Good thing that young lady on the Twitter wasn’t able to cancel Kevin Youkilis.

That iPhone commercial where that toddler trips in the crosswalk nearly in front of a bus is upsetting.

I respect the hell out of the undefeated 1969 Medfield HS football team.

If there’s one thing in my life that’s missing, it’s the time that I spend alone sailing on the cool and bright clear water.

Tacko Fall needs a nickname. I am going to call him ‘The Big Chalupa.” Feel free to do so as well.

Bob Costas would’ve made a great barista had he not gone into broadcasting.

Brief movie review: Ad Astra? More like Sad Dadstra.

The Vanity Fair article about Bob Kraft’s visits to the Orchids of Asia day spa makes him look even more like a needy rube, if you can believe that.

Vaya con fetti, Rip Taylor.

You did not hear this from me, but word on the street is that Nick has Premium.

Honk if you remember zany zappers.

This just in: Mike Lynch is still retired from Channel 5, and Rob Gronkowski is still retired from professional football.

It just follows that there had to have been a single A battery at one time, yes?

So as I’m entering the rest room at the local TJ Maxx, I nearly bump into a guy combing his hair and I’m all like “hey, watch what you’re doing Edd ‘Kookie’ Byrnes!” and he deftly replies “that’s a terribly out-of-date cultural reference.” and I had no choice but to ruefully agree with him.

Did their bye week arrive at the right time for .500 Boston College?

Best bet for the weekend: tourists in the North End for the Columbus Day Holiday.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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