1/Whenever Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

-Where have I been, you ask? Covered in bubble wrap until the playoffs. Chewed my way out.

-Good work Clemson. You took what’s yours (against Ohio, anyway).

-The Bruins didn’t have a New Year’s Resolution about winning an overtime shootout?

-How do we know that time traveling assassins from the Dominican Republic didn’t murder Esther Rolle after mistaking he for David Ortiz?

-I hope whoever had the Celtics voodoo dolls their magic expired in 2019.

-You have to take the points there.

-ESPN treats the NHL like it’s the Tiffany Trump of pro sports.

-Hawaii Five-O and Magnum P.I. should not be on the air at the same time. There; I said it.

-The aughts use have been an easy time for novelty New Year’s Eve glasses designers.

-Cows = Creative.

-Aunt Gertie isn’t at Elliott’s for Christmas in that E.T. Comcast commercial because she’s in rehab again, amirite?

-No losing team won their division, those obviating the case for playoff reseeding must have had pumpkin headed fishwife Peter King crying into his hint of citrusy beer.

-Now is Dick Clark dead, or just presumed dead, like Casey Kasem?

-Prediction: Weird Celtics Twitter gets even weirder in 2020!

-Wait, there’s a Brad Dorff, and a Stephen Dorff?

-“Bleahh, Belichick Coaching Tree! Bleahh!!”

-That epic snowball fight filmed on an iPhone 11 looked to have wayyyy more rules in place than most other snowball fights.

-Honk if you remember “Weekend at Bernie’s 2”.

-Get well soon, cut-by-a-skate NHL Guy.

-You gotta take the elevator to the mezzanine, chump.

“It requires neither courage nor prescience to predict disaster. Courage is required of the man who, when things are good, says so.” – John Kenneth Galbraith, obviously not a 98.5 The Sports Hub caller.

Best bet for the weekend: freezing cold or unseasonable warmth, one of the two.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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