2/8/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

-Funny thing about an Irish Vacation, not so many Irishmen.

-Has the Boston Globe put out a special pull-out section about how baseball has always accepted sign stealing with a wink and a nod yet?

-Maybe the Great Kid Pasta can do it all himself.

-It’s always adorable when Marck James pretends to be as mad at the Celtics not making a trade as he is when a co-worker won’t go on a date with him.

-That kooky British Royal Family, amirite?

-Cakes are cooking for Charo, Regina King, and Pitbull.

-It’s a good thing the Winter Olympics aren’t in Australia this year.

-Sergeant Slaughter: Stolen Valor?

-Remember- if Jerome Boger and his crew were competent, the Patriots would have had the #2 seed and the bye.

-“The Cincinnati Tackmen squad in 1905 had carrier pigeons deliver stolen signs to Manager Swede O’ Malvey right in the dugout. Swede died of smallpox in 1907.” – The Boston Globe

-Dale Arnold pronounces it ‘defencemen’. I can tell.

-Eddie Coyle needed better friends.

-ESPN treats the NHL like CBS treats west coast viewers of ’60 Minutes’.

-I’m hearing that Mrs. Chris Curtis will petition the court for joint custody of his extra skin.

-I hope the straw boater hat makes a comeback this decade.

-Correction: “Tinsel” is not a contraction of ‘tin icicle’, it comes instead from the old French word ‘estincelle’, making to spark or flash. BJBSJ regrets the error.

-Honk if you remember the Movie Loft.

-“Philadelphia Quakers manager Spats Hettinger had a team employee rig a sodium arc light to flicker to signal pitches in 1911. By an odd coincidence, an electrical fire burned Friendship Field to the ground later that season.” – The Boston Globe

-Those surveyors don’t look to be doing anything.

-Laura Petrie was better looking than Mary Richards.

James Naismith had no middle name? I’ve been lied to.

-BJBSJ had #FireCora first.

-Don Imus dead? How could they tell?

-The last time they had a Super Bowl without the Patriots, Ed Markey was still a representative and Liz Warren was still an Indian. Heyooo!

-Wiggy, Fitzy, and Mut? Oh My!

-When you’ve been force fed too much Family Guy, you’d kill for an NCIS: New Orleans at top volume.

-The KC Chiefs mascot looks like a Chuck E. Cheese escapee.

-Related, Dale Arnold calls him, “Charles. Entertainment. Cheese.”

-Where’s Bob Hohler?

-The CBS promos for ‘Prodigal Son’ and ‘FBI Most Wanted’., I can’t tell them apart.

-Peyton Manning has been quiet. Too quiet.

-Maybe Alex Cora could get an Apple Watch endorsement?

-I took some comfort that in the Patriots ‘down year’, the Steelers still sucked.

-Honk if you remember Micronauts.

-Another year without a Super Bowl, means Aaron Rodgers had more time to go antiquing and to linen auctions, or whatever he does with Danica Patrick.

-Do they still make those Roos sneakers with the pockets?

-Kobe had to be thinking, “knocked from the top three NBA scorers…what else could go wrong this weekend?”

-Red Sox missed a golden opportunity not making Jason Varitek the manager.

-Bon Iver is pronounced “Bone Ivair”?

-Miami gets the Super Bowl, Orlando gets the Pro Bowl. Perfect.

-I’m pretty sure I caught the coronavirus at a meat market some years back, but that was at spring break in Cancun, not Wuhan.

-Absent evidence to the contrary, I’m going to assume that Billie Eilish has a Dominican birth certificate.

-The Red Sox didn’t make Dustin Pedroia the manager, either?

-Tanya Tucker…you still got it kid.

-“Kobe ‘Bean’ Bryant”? Or as Dale would call him, “Kobert. Legume. Bryant.”

-Is “He Hate Me” coaching in the XFL?

-AB gotta be AB. That’s what makes him AB.

-Known recluse Mike Eruzione is writing a book?

-So what happened to Nipsey Hussle? Leukemia?

-Ironically, it was the box of suds that got me here.

-To everyone saying it’s ironic that Kobe died the day after Lebron passed him in scoring. Even Alanis Morrissette knows you’re using it wrong.

-Honk if you remember “Candlepins for Cash”.

-Steve Grogan is not the Red Sox manager, either?

-Just to be safe, I got a flu shot. Couldn’t hurt. Except it did.

-So Chris Curtis has been out ‘recharging his batteries’? Is that what the interns are calling it these days?

-YOU didn’t play in the Super Bowl this year, caller!

-Kobe was killed, and it was all setup. At least that’s what my new roommate says.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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