05/13/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

A worthy recipient.

Congratulations to Richard Seymour on his election to the New England Patriots Hall of Fame.

As for Parcells, looks like the fans said, ‘Let’s not put him in Foxborough yet, fellas.’

I hope the Calder Cup-favorite Peebs heard that the AHL season has been cancelled for the rest of the year. Sad.

“Doctor” Fauci running the classic infectious disease expert scam. You don’t have to like it, but you should absolutely respect it.

I’ll say this for Peyton Manning: he has a talented writers’ room.

The Humpty Dumpty All Dressed potato chips? Couldn’t live up to the hype.

Can Governor Baker have his ASL translator play charades to tell us what businesses are going to be allowed to resume operations in this first phase? I bet he’s good at it.

Cakes are cooking for Stevie Wonder, Dennis Rodman, Sean McDonough, and Lena Dunham.

I don’t know if it’s the Wahlbergs, The Masked Singer producers, or a combination thereof, but kudos to them keeping Dr. Jenny quiet during this pandemic.

Tensions are beyond high in the BJBSJ Zoom meetings. So great!

Free agent QB Cam Newton has not ruled out a backup QB job in the right situation, I’m told. He wants to be (and should be) a starter. But he’s open to being a backup.

Must be nice to have a kitchen counter.

Earl Thomas needed a stronger Snapchat password.

Hearing good things about this kid Jeff Thomas. The sense I’m getting from inside the building is the team really likes him.

Drew Magary hasn’t drunk himself into another coma?

NFL analysts were like “The Jets schedule is brutal!” during the three-hour schedule release, as if the opponents haven’t been known for over 6 months. Did they think the order of games being played makes a difference?

Hey there, True Believers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘Now let’s measure our swan candle holders.’

Lil Rick. OOTG’s, Danny. R.I.P.

Elon Musk stole my baby name!

A Joe Haggerty/Dan Lifshatz Twitter feud is about Iran/Iraq as you can get.

I see we’ve entered the ‘Suspicious Restaurant Fire’ phase of the pandemic lockdown.

A blurb? A BLURB? You’re a blurb!!

BJBSJ Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members promo code is * BJ * for a discount at The Table. No gift cards, though.

Is there an award given for Most Esoteric Minifan Twitter name? When? Monthly? Quarterly?

Cautiously optimistic about the Buffalo Bills chances.

You can have Elisabeth Moss. I’ll take Carrie-Anne Moss.

Callahan had Reimer and Aiden on the same show. Jesus. Callahan, Reimer, and Aiden to recap.

It’s just like Dad used to say; I bet something in the backyard would like that potato.

Answer: John Kiley.

Honk if you remember Montecore.

Dale E Arnold is so scared of the COVID he wouldn’t even blow Ray right now.

Manniquin. What a film.

Someone fetch Gary Myers his shawl.

BASF should advertise at the Fleet Center.

Try to find something you love as much as Boston media loves the Big Tuna.

Those poor bulldogs.

I forgot which thread this was.

OBAMAGATE! DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!

Best bet for the weekend: Nemesis follows Hubris.

Sorry, Duane Charlie. Why are you dressed like Bruce Arians?

material from interviews, wire services, rebroadcasts, Facebook, Instagram, other writers, league and team sources, Cam Newton’s agent, BSMW Message Board Participants ‘Canadian Soldier’, ‘NASCL’, and ‘Nashua Dad’, and #the15, were used in this column.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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