06/10/2020 Cautiously Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer (Phase 2 Step 1)

You got that one, old friend Reche. Rest in peace.

(This column is being filed under protest, because the BJBSJ Summer Interns are unavailable to help me for some stupid reason.)

I still blame the Yawkeys.

To all the sports shouting head shows: I’ll get my serious commentary on important issues from someone who doesn’t make a living trolling every day.

Last time I saw a protest this moving Alex Cora was irate over the Tampa Bay’s use of southpaw slinger Adam Kolarek.

At least no NECCO Wafers were looted.

I haven’t seen a worse Buffalo pushover like that since the Bills from 2000 to 2016!

Baseball is screwing things up! There: I said it.

Why hasn’t Tim Thomas released a statement on the recent controversy? It’s fair to ask the question.

We need @ImJustAskingThe more now than ever.

“John & Linda generously pledge ‘unknown amount’ to Red Sox Foundation” – The Baseball Paper

Ever hear of Lou Hudson?

Cakes are cooking for Prince Phillip, Bill Burr, Pokey Reese, and Kate Upton.

Pro Football Hall of Fame reopens today. It has been closed since March 16 due to COVID-19. One more small step on sports’ way back.

I swear if David Ortiz can’t heal the nation like he did Boston because he took a bullet meant for his lookalike Sixto I will never forgive that accursed doppleganger!

How’s that investigation going? They got any promising uh,uh, leads?

Angel Hernandez. Amirite?

Man, This League. returning almost into August. Man. This League.

Mindy Kaling should speak to protesters in Boston. By the way…she went to Harvard.

Mikey Milltown has a heck of an ’07 World Series.

With restaurants reopening, it will be interesting to see who has switched to generic ketchup. Well, interesting for idiots who follow Jim Murray, anyway.

Arrest the trees! They’re trying to murder me!

Hey gang, remember this week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘Sad Onions as far as the eye can see.’

I don’t cover the Barstool beat. Sorrey.

So you’re saying a market exists for a Small Wonder reboot?

Owen Pence literally means ‘in debt for a penny.’

Would it really kill Callahan to wash Reimer’s feet?

Former Panthers LB Luke Kuechly, who retired earlier this offseason after an incredible eight-year career, is considering joining the Panthers front office and would serve as a Pro Scout. His football passion would be a major asset.

Lissen tah ME!!!

Was Rachel Dolezal ahead of her time? Yes.

If the police were defunded back in the day Doug Mirabelli would have never been able get a motorcade to catch for Wakey. You’re welcome, Tek.

How can it be possible for The Athletic to employ 46 worse writers than Steve Buckley?

They should build a tunnel through that Los Angeles mountain and name it after Kobe.

Interesting that the Patriots used of all their cap space and resultantly can’t sign Kaepernick. What did they know and when did they know it?

Need a distraction for all that is going wrong in this world? NESN has some great programming like ‘Mad Fisherman’ Charlie Moore and infomercials!

That’s on Tom.

Montreal didn’t deserve a playoff spot, but thems the breaks.

Can’t burn down the forests of the Commonwealth with a thoughtless discarded Newport anymore.

Kenneth!

I got good connections I dig my directions what people say that’s ok they don’t bother me; I’m ready to make it don’t care what the weather don’t care ’bout no trouble got myself together. I feel the kind of protection that’s all around me.

Honk if you remember the 2006 Pats at Chargers Divisional Playoff Game.

Get well soon, Bombay John Dennis. You’ll kick that “spring water” habit this time, I just know it!

Aiden could’t even do his car selfie profile pic right.

And just as an FYI, real Ray-Bans have their logo on the lenses, gas station sunglasses don’t.

New rule: muppets that work for a newspaper that’s owned by the Red Sox don’t get to question whether Belichick, Kraft, or anyone with the Patriots is a racist.

Best bet for the weekend: outdoor dining. And maybe drinking.

Maintain distancing.

material from interviews, wire services, rebroadcasts, Facebook, Instagram, other writers, league and team sources, Field ‘Turf’ Yates, and #the15, were used in this column. Nothing from the interns, though.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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