07/15/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer


2020 is like J.D. Drew. Sure, the summer is an endless slog of death and division. The comparison is concluded.

Being a former star of “Glee” is more dangerous than drumming for Spinal Tap.

John Dennis has been drying out longer than beef jerky.

What’s Cam Newton getting me hyped for exactly? The first round of roster cut downs?

Unlike Greg Bedard, we pay our staff.

If you wear a mask in public, but don’t post it on social media, did you even wear it?

Can’t wait to see who Kirkie goes to war against NEXT week.

Cakes are cooking for Linda Ronstadt, Terry O’Quinn, Kirt Manwaring, and Beth Ostrosky.

Expect the Duke University Lady Blue Lady Devils Women’s Basketball team to finally make the leap to NCAA Champs behind new HC Kara Lawson’s great basketball mind.

Ironically, it was a Jew that put the SS behind Curt Schilling.

One name to watch as teams gear up for training camp: FA TE Jordan Reed. The former Washington play-maker has three teams interested and plans to play in 2020. A potential low-risk, high-reward signing.

Tough break, Boston Globe Red Sox beat reporter Julian McWilliams, getting assigned the ‘shine the sneaker that is Alex Verdugo’ article.

Kelly Preston. Makes you think. Didn’t even know she was sick. She was born in Hawaii, did you know that? Aloha, Kelly.

Woj. You dumb Polack.

Did the Golden Girls predict Covid? I have no idea, but it’s another excuse to watch.

Rich Keefe has won at something! He killed EEI!

Putting out an APB on @stever324.

I’m starting to think I should have taken that no expenses paid trip to Pro Football Focus Scouting Academy in Cincinnati in March PFFunderscoreSam offered me!

Bill Belichick! Eating a Subway sandwich! For an ad! Zoinks!!

Marisa Ingemi remains a free agent.

They don’t make $43 Fila sneakers as well as they did as recently as five years ago.  Sad.

If the zombie thing happens, the US population will be the first to reach full-blown infection. Then we’ll eat the entire rest of the world’s brains. How’s that for American exceptionalism, you smug, Euro fucks?

Rising star to keep your eye on? Owen Pence. Remember the name.

‘Dumb as a Cuomo’ should be a saying.

Would ‘pemmican’ have been funnier word choice instead of ‘beef jerky’ in the John Dennis gag above? Let me know in the comments.

Hey squad, remember that this week’s Phrase That Pays is “Two best AFC east potent.”

Those 20+ corporate-acceptable social justice slogans on the back of NBA jerseys are gonna save a lot of Black Lives. A lot. 

The only thing lower than WEEI’S ratings are Bedard’s new subscriber counts.

Blehhhh! Boring Gred Bedard stuff! Blehhhhh!!

Lights are defenseless. Please don’t attack them. You know who you are.

Mut did a full blutarsky in the 18-34 demo in May.

‘Drew Lite’ was the fourth most popular diet cola in the Southern Georgia region during the mid to late 2000s.

A Boston Cream is a donut pretending to be a pie that’s actually a cake.

Sources are telling me that the PFF fellas aren’t quite as smart as they think they are.

Kirk is gonna destroy WEEI? He was supposed to have destroyed EEI last year!

Is Cam short for Camp? I’m just quirkily asking the question.

When is Taylor Kyles going to get his shot to lead an NFL franchise? Great football mind.

Okay Dale Arnold, one has to go: WARRIOR Ice Arena or Table?

Honk if you still have all you fingers.

I could really go for a Jordan Marsh blueberry muffin right about now.

A: Braves Field, later reconfigured as BU’s Nickerson Field.

News Item: D1 tennis stolen valor perpetrator and 45% of the Comorbidity Boyz Dan Lifshatz has moved his primary burner account from @therealjefe23 to @QuiseDaniels8. Please make a note of it.

Best bet for the weekend: Friday, in the NBA Bubble, is Hawaiian shirt day… So, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

25″ 720p,  just like several used at PFF!

material from interviews, wire services, Facebook, Quibi, NFL agent transcriptionists, other writers, PFF, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. 


Author: scartsybjbsj

1 thought on “07/15/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Leave a Reply