08/26/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

A nice lady.

Is Boogie, Dame, Spida the 2020 Snap, Crackle, Pop? I’m just asking the question, caller.

Gotta beat them Lightnings in regular time, Bruins.

  • Hot: Running a “border wall” Venmo scam
  • Not: Running a “moving expenses” Venmo scam.

Kirk spends a month in therapy and immediately starts attacking his “friends” again. No one could have predicted this.

An Indy 500 Race that finishes under a caution flag is still a win, Takuma Sato.

Believe Victims* (Void in Eagle, Colorado.)

Are the Red Sox best exemplified by their 3 game win streak, or their eight game losing streak? I guess we will have to watch, and buy merchandise, and support the Boston Globe newspaper to find out.

1= tweet “sexi booti smarf mc buckets”

2=(insert the art of a child)

3= become wct royalty

4= profit but refuse because money is bad

Tough to see Bleacher Report closing up shop on their long form magazine. Company to watch out for to fill the void? Couch Guy Sports.

What time does Jerry Falwell Jr speak at the RNC?

Cakes are cooking for Tommy Heinsohn, Valerie Simpson, Ola Ray, and Macaulay Culkin.

Find someone who loves you as much as dummies in sports media love ‘bring a guy in for camp competition!’ storylines.

Why do they call that thing a ‘Zamboni?’ Just one of life’s unanswerable questions, I guess.

Jerry Jones on @1053thefan is asked whether the team is interested in Earl Thomas: he makes it clear the team is still weighing that possibility has respect for Thomas’ skillset and ability and acknowledges Thomas’ interest in Dallas in the past. Worth keeping an eye on.

Aloha means Goodbye, @WWIIFelger. Aloha.

Have the Buccaneers beat writers ever seen a good QB practice before?

For that matter have the Patriots beat writers? IJATQC.

Tried to watch the full Kenosha video. Couldn’t. Too upsetting. I mean really, portrait mode? It’s 2020, people! Enough is enough!

You just gonna let that shrubbery overgrow into the pool, Jimbo?

Popovich not coaching in the Association Playoffs is the greatest Social Justice issue of all.

KFC is taking the “Finger Lickin’ Good” slogan away. Jokes on them, I still have my toes.

My nickname for Luka Dončić is “Uka”, cuz with him, there ain’t no “L”.

Why do they dress Kathryn Tappen like an Amish Madam?

“Poor ghetto cocknob sells a broken i-Pad to whorish illegal alien child who then breaks his car mirror. A typical Lawrence love story” -Turtleboy Times

Out on Gary Meyers.

A reminder that BJBSJ really likes and respects its readers.

Lets all remember Anthony Martignetti on this Prince Spaghetti Wednesday. Rest in peace.

Poor Dave Meggett didn’t win enough championships, I guess.

  • Celtics : Sixers
  • Bruins : Leafs
  • Patriots : Bills
  • Red Sox : Red Sox fans

I see the media are circling the milk wagons for the telephone & telegraph gal.

How many feet of the border wall could Curt Schilling pay for by selling his “Golden Teeth of Auschwitz” collection?

Honk if you don’t care who’s blocked by Dougie Hamilton.

Everyone look at Jemele.

Hey Focksboro practice observationists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Damien Harris runs violent.”

I thought the Trail Blazers Game 1 win had a touch of the ‘Memorial Day Massacre’ vibe to it. Forgot to mention it at the time.

Pray for John Dennis if you happen to take a dump at the Punta Gorda rest stop. He’d be there if he could.

I’ll admit I’m lonely, and need someone to hold me just to sleep at night.
But I’d rather be alone rather wake up on my own come the morning time.
The days pass so slowly and it never fades. Evening comes, I’m looking for somebody else. These are things I say only when I’m talking to myself.

Robyn Hayward may want to look into a restraining order against Olivia Mignosa. Just sayin’.

John Davidson lives in NH? Now that’s incredible!

How many bunk beds fit in a padded cell?

It must be embarrassing at the ER when you have to explain how that “action figure” got stuck where it did.

A: Ipswich clams.

Honk if you’re wasted during weeknight playoff games.

Wait, did we honk already? Hell with it.

  • Out: Dame Dolla
  • In: Spida Mitchell

Thoughts and prayers go out to old friend Theodore Sarandis who is still recovering from the aftereffects of COVID-19.

Best bet for the weekend: MTV VMA’s, natch.

HBD, Tommy.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sources#BoldFlavors, and #the15 were used in this column. Get help, Fuckface.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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