10/21/2020 Cleaning Up the Sports Sandwich Shoppe

Luscious Juicy Sandwiches.

Sounds anecdotal.

I’ve always wanted to fondle a pitching rubber and get John Tudor’s autograph, not to mention, put in writing how I feel about the trio of fartknockers that run this organization.

Voting at Fenway? Joe Moody must be quite busy today!

Sorry, folks. Never in my life heard of Twix. And many of you probably never heard of the Clark Bar. Anyway, everyone knows that if we were constitutionally restricted to one (1) candy, it would have to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. All you Twix freaks now have a moral obligation to go out and buy a month’s supply to keep your beloved candy in business.

Did you know the Red Sox traded Mookie? Zoinks!

Josh Allen? Not elite.

Cakes are cooking for Manfred Mann, Judith Sheindlin, Charlotte Caffey, Joey Harrington, and Kim Kardashian.

How many shares in the Red Sox do I have to buy to steal Linda from John? Would.

Steve Buckley coming out, and the fraud Ordway trying to come across as an advocate for sexual choice. He sat by silent while the revolving door of WEEI dickwads spewed anti-gay sentiment. Just recall when the gay marriage bill was in debate and how Glenn’s big ex-jock buddies ripped on that ad nauseum. They knew Buck was gay, and did this crap in his presence. Shame on Buck for his willingness to take a check at the expense of his own dignity, and shame on the gaggles of douchebags that put him in that dilemma. Don’t reinvent history and try to come off as supportive. All parties involved at WEEI are frauds and I’d expect nothing less at this point.

“Mother’s basement” is really a pre-WiFi insult. Now you can troll from anywhere in the house!

Also, I was today years old when I found out that Joe Buck is the son of Marv Albert. Gonna need a moment here.

Swishy. Sackface. And the Milkman’s Son. That’s it. That’s the post.

Last week, Dak Prescott gets hurt. This week, Dak Emrick announces his retirement. Some coincidence.

If Twix sponsored the ’67 Impossible Dream Red Sox Bobert would have crispy cookie and caramel smothered all over his mouth and down his chin every day.

You’re not changing my mind. In a way, never liking Kirk Minihane is an ADVANTAGE.

I wonder if there is a Boston Media Home for Little Wanderers? Butch Stearns and Pete Sheppard having morning coffee together. Doug Meehan cleaning the kitchen and complaining that Bob Lobel is a slob. Ted Sarandis coming home angry every night after yet another unsuccessful attempt to find a five dollar hooker.

Plain Black Hat is due to discover Midsommar next Summer.

Cool fall weather means it’s that time of year to stay inside, sit in a recliner in a dark room, and scratch your arms.

Tom Caron has always been a huge Liverpool FC. Yup, for sure, always.

If the day ends with a -y, then you can bet Trenni is on the hunt for men on Plenty of Fish.

He Got Game is retroactively bad because Ray Allen is a cunt.

Howdy, Taggers, Invisoneers, WordPressers and Slackers! This weeks Phrase that Pays is ‘Value-Pak Slap Mags!’ Honkies!

Does anyone know the fall hours at Whalom Park?

Can’t wait for the Red Sox Ownership Group to introduce Wally’s latest relative, ‘Financial Flexibility!’

Zoomy Zubes!

Mouse-wife to Mom-shell in the time it took to get that new tattoo,
tattoo, tattoo!

Well actually, the building is no longer structurally sound and a family of 6 squirrels is now homeless. In this economy? How will they survive? This is what happens in Trumps America.

“Behind the Scenes at WCVB” That’s a book I’d buy…
-Amalia Barretta…was she the reason for the breakup of Chet and Nat?
-Frank Avruch…was he really a legendary swordsman?
-Derm Keohane…most knew him as the ugly guy in the small box doing sign language on the morning news before closed captioning was invented…what you don’t know is what a prick he was!!!
-Clark Booth…did he really have a larger porn stash than Bin Laden?
-Captain Bob…his scandalous secret life and X-Rated etchings!!!
-Jim Boyd…the shocking items he hid in his afro!

UMass football probably needed more practice time, too.

When are we finally going to cancel Pete Blackburn for misappropriation of gay culture?

Honk if you remember Mr. Magoo.

You can’t WFH an RPO!

Merloni, with his dyed facial hair and mop is resembling “the Great Svengarlic”, the fraudulent hypnotist that walked the Three Stooges out onto a flagpole.

It’s Wape Wice, for the good times.

Best bet for the weekend: Joe Buck overload.

If anyone needs me I will be out walking my pet rat, ‘Ronald.’

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column. Fare thee well, Robert LJ ‘HotDog’ “Bob from NH” Sandwich. You are missed.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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