12/23/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Merry Xmas!

Good luck this semi-fake season Celtics. Anything is possible.

Just so DJ Bean is clear, the Sports Junk Drawer is not click bait, either.

Eggnog. Arguably the best nog.

More tackles broken in the backfield than any game I can ever remember.

I just assumed every strip club has it’s own assigned NBA player, the way country clubs and muni courses each have a golf pro.

Does Chris Gasper have a holiday scarf collection? Just asking the question.

Nothing is a better remedy for seasonal affective disorder than a trip to Puerto Vallarta somebody else paid for.

I guess the DSM-5 doesn’t recognize ‘Attention From Strangers-Deficit Disorder’ as an actual malady. Maybe the 6 will.

So Bob Ryan just learned about the Tuck Rule, and Twix, I guess the Tylenol Product Tampering Poisonings from 1982 comes next.

If you want Bruins news that occasionally beats the big boys you check out Jimmie Murphy at whatever blog he does! Days of Y’Orr, maybe?

Cam Newton is actually playing pretty great if you’re not using traditional metrics like completions and yards and touchdowns and wins!

Cakes are cooking for Jorma Kaukonen, Bill Rodgers, Carla Bruni, and Finn Wolfhard.

Paul Pierce is The Truth. And The Truth belongs in the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Cube steak prepared the right way is nothing to sleep on.

“Battle ax” – That’s what the goalies call their sticks. Only ice hockey insiders know that.

Here’s hoping for the Next Man Up at the sports desk at Channel 5.

So I won an Amazon Fire Stick at a holiday raffle. But I can’t find where you’re supposed to fill it with lighter fluid. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Speaking of fire, that poor busboy at the Cocoanut Grove thinks N’Keal Harry has passed him as the most unfairly reviled person in the Greater Boston Area.

Ron Rivera says in looking around the league, the Washington Football Team decided a fine for Dwayne Haskins was in line with what has been the standard this year. No suspension or taking reps away.

Orange Line: Delays of up to 10 minutes southbound due to a train with an earlier mechanical problem approaching North Station.

‘It’s a Fine Conjunction.’ – Evan Lazar, probably.

News Item: supermodel Stella Tennant dies at age 50. When did she play for the Steelers?

What can WEEI do to boost their ratings? Lou can’t dye his hair any darker! He’s all out of ideas!

WARRIOR Ice Arena is humming with the sound of Bruins practice!

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletide gain
Next year all our troubles will be miles away.

Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithfull friends who are near to us
Will be dear to us
Once more.

Somedays soon we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas, now.

Pasta is a Good Kid AND a Good Guy.

Governor Baker wants #The15 to not meet in one indoor location.

Hey there gang, this week’s emergency backup Phrase that Pays is “Daddy doesn’t make the rules.”

James Harden got strawberry juices all over Olojuwan’s retired jersey? Oh no.

Gasper’s been singing Jedd Fisch’s praises for months, probably.

Smize!

Honk if you remember the Boston Garden’s smaller ice surface.

Dogs seem to love Christmas. They get IT.

Bryant beats UMass. I’d weep, but my tears were vacated.

Am I nuts, or does that Patriots practice setlist feature a lot of Young Jeezy?

Lotta closet space over at WCVB. Apparently.

Best bet for the weekend: Hatrack Newton starts.

Have a safe Youksmas Eve.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. God bless us; every one.

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Author: scartsybjbsj

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