BJBSJ Official Statement

From Our Editorial Board

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BJBSJ’s First Theatrical Release

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll be asked to pay extra for your tickets and the movie will end prematurely!

Coming in July, BJBSJ proudly presents:

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Greg Bedard is Home!

After some soul searching(cough)lost his job in Vegas(cough), Greg Bedard is back and ready to reaffirm his commitment to his Wicked Diehard subscribers.

BUT!

What is the truth?

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Where in the World is Greg Bedard?

Greg Bedard, lately of the Las Vegas Review Journal, has been strangely absent from the paper since January 12th, where he was seen polishing Houston Texans Head Coach Bill O’Brien’s apples to a Felger-like glow.

People have noticed, despite the spiraling drop in the popularity of his bostonsportsjournal.com. Bedard addressed the question recently but gave no direct answers to his Wicked Diehard subscribers in a recent chat on BSJ:

Bedard also skipped the Super Bowl, which is HIGHLY IRREGULAR for a national NFL writer for a major metropolitan daily newspaper, especially one based in Las Vegas.

This is amusing, because Greg is the hardest working man in the news business. Just ask him. While all of this vacation and sabbatical is occurring, Bedard drops a tweet dripping of Cullen.

No Days Off

Dissatisfied with all this secrecy and half answers, BJBSJ’s own Ironhead, @ironhead334 reached out to the newsroom at the LVRJ to get down to the brass tacks of the situation.

Per our source in Sin City, “Greg Bedard is no longer employed by The Las Vegas Review Journal.”

Where this leaves Bedard is anyone’s guess. Rumors have been circulating for close to a year Bostonsportsjournal.com has been offered for sale high and low, with the Athletic, a private buyer, and, (stifles giggle) Jonathan Kraft rumored as being approached to take on the struggling site. Bedard is also rumored to have approached investors looking for as much as a 6 figure cash infusion. Regardless, the site has been clearly been struggling with new subscriptions nonexistent and longer subscription plans being removed from the sites offering.

What’s Greg’s next stop you ask? We’re all in on Chapter 11.

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Greg Hill – World Class Fuck Face and Shitty Web Sleuth

Look at this dipshit:

So it didn’t take Sleepy Salkie long to dip his fat toes in the shit stirring waters. Aside: Greg, congratulations on not catching whatever *cough* virus *cough* Danielle dragged into the studio from her weekend.

It didn’t take long for 60 something year old Chachi wannabe/surfer girl Mike Giardi to jump in:

Meanwhile, what’s the truth? Has Tom Brady chosen to raise his children as wispy Greenwich douchebags in the mould of Bill Simmons? Will they have bad backs while trying to do the behind the back? Au Contraire!

Hey look, it’s the same house!

If only there was a way to determine who owns real estate on a county by county or town/city basis. Hmmmmm…

What’s a sleepy internet sleuth to do?

Nothing, it turns out.

Intermission:

Thankfully friend of the program @bucknerslegs had the foresight to do a simple deed search. What he found will scare that fat, sweaty tits off of Greg Hill. Okay, that’s a lie. Nothing’s slimming fatboy down.

But I digress…

What does all that mean? For starters, Adam and Hayley Fisher are probably very happy in their new home. It also means that Tom and Giselle, and the kids are not co-habitating with them.

What should we think of the rest of this abortion birthed by Surfer Girl and Sleepy Salkie? BJBSJ is put on the awkward position of siding with Brady houseboy Tom E Curran. Briefly. But then again, Tawm does know which of the maids is stealing the silverware.

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The Curious Case of Marc James and the Purloined Globe

How do you steal something that has no value?

From one of our moles:

Thought you guys might get a kick out of this… Marc ‘with a C’ James is obviously a huge loser. After what I saw, the ‘C’ stands for cheapskate. I was walking into a Walgreens in Somerville at the same time as him. I recognized him but had no interest in talking to him. I walk up to the atm which is to the left of the entrance as you walk in. James walks to the back of the store and then immediately walks back to the main entrance. He stops at the newsstand to pick up a Boston globe. Flicks through it a few times before walking out with the paper and no payment. I leave seconds after him and I see him put the paper on the front seat of his BMW before walking over to Leone’s sub shop on broadway. What-a-boob

Our narc, “ Boston globe was the only newspaper on the rack“

Being the capital J journalists that we are, we reached out for comment to James:

“Lol! That is hilarious. It was actually a Walgreens coupon flyer. I already have an online Globe account anyway. I wouldn’t use that fish rag for toilet paper! By the way, I find your tweets hilarious. Keep up the great work.

We don’t even have a media aspirationz podcast and the little pat on the back gave us a new sense of purpose.

We’ll leave guilt and innocence to you, dear reader, and the loss prevention staff at Walgreens. The eye in the sky sees all.

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Chris Curtis, Fishing off the Company Pier.

Most of society rightfully thought sports talk radio was filled with below average looking guys who couldn’t get laid in a whore house.

But have we got news for you. WEEI, while not having ratings, definitely is filled with something.

That something you ask?

Adultery.

Allegedly.

Any way you slice it, it’s a bad look. We at BJBSJ are sure that this was all vetted by the Entercom employee handbook. But setting aside the fringe issues of employees striking up sexual relationships with subordinates, the larger issue has to be discussed.

Curtis, you emancipated dog, you. Way to step up your game fella!

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Another Pelt on the Wall

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Gold Bottles!

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A Postcard from the Edge

Our own ScartsyBJBSJ checks in from vacation. Unfortunately he doesn’t have enough consistent wifi to post from his present location.

h/t @patscartel

UPDATE:

Statement-
I am as surprised as anyone at this situation. I know what’s in my heart, and would never knowingly place items into the body of my column in such a cryptic manner. Words are my livelihood and l make it my business to be very aware of what words I can and cannot use. Nonetheless, I feel I have let down Mr. Almeida, Mr. Norton, Mr. Bosell, and the rest of my teammates here at BJBSJ. I look forward to a full and thorough investigation into the matter, and a subsequent full exoneration.

Patrick Scartelli

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