Sunday Comic(s)

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What We Learned in 2020

I guess we learned not do that again.

By the BJBSJournal staff

Twenty years of combined success is no match for the yappa-yappa-yappa.

Winning over Red Sox fans is easy, even easier than winning a trade war with China!

Gary Tanguay self-identifies as an actor.

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.

Helicopters can’t fly through mountains.

DJ Bean is even less talented at songwriting than he is at hot taking.

You can’t even joke around about slitting people’s throats anymore. The fuck is this world coming to?

Tyreek Hill has great body language, thus is clearly a great guy.

Atlanta just hits different.

Trenni really needs the NBCSN makeup department to live in her condo.

Dame and Spida. The future of #ThisLeague.

A hatter on retainer does not a QB make.

The Massachusetts State Police has a Twitter Hijinks division.

Pasta is a good kid.

There were new definitions for hospital balls and RPO’s

Chaim can absolutely cook. He just needs someone to turn the stove on for him on Saturdays.

We’ve apparently been in a FAKE DROUGHT since 2015.

Luke Voit is simply a naturally talented power hitter.

A significant portion of readers of The Athletic are utterly fascinated by the intersection of sports and pop culture, but only if it happened fifty to eighty years ago.

The Red Sox ownership group will gladly admit in a statement their fans are racist, if it will lead to smidgen of social justice clout.

That’s a mushroom cloud. That’s atomic.

Charlotte Wilder could teach a killer master class on the anatomy of a joke.

Neither WEEI management nor Gary Tanguay understand what ‘getting fired’ means.

It isn’t an act. Ben Volin really is that dumb.

The Red Sox traded likable, League MVP winning Mookie Betts for sketchy Alex Verdugo, and they expect you to be fine with that.

Tanya Ray Fox lost followers this year.

Richard Dietsch is reading this right now. Because I typed out the words ‘Richard Dietsch.’

Bro’s before Ho’s. *(Unless that Ho is Evan Lazar.)

Ted Sarandis has a powerful legal team.

34 passing yards is actually good. Grind the tape and you’d know, dummy.

Danny Ainge is a Mormon, and is on the hot seat.

Although he didn’t coach last year, #FireCora

Elle Duncan is Black.

You can fix depression with a $200 alarm clock.

Bob Ryan discovered Twix Bars.

Jimmy Murphy is ready to fight, and he wants YOU to know it.

Linda Pizutti Henry is qualified to be the CEO of Boston Globe Media Corp.

WWIIFelger was Derek Chauvin, basically.

Apparently, Jon Meterparel still lives in the area.

Cam knows he has to play better.

Chris Gasper doesn’t like it when you correctly call out his sophistry.

There were two professional lacrosse leagues, since merged into one.

Cancel culture can’t be all bad if it got rid of Swishy Andelman.

All NBA reporters everywhere work every Christmas, and deserve your respect.

OMG first Brady now Chara!

2020 began with Marisa Ingemi employed and ended with Marisa Ingemi employed. In like a lamb, out like a lion.

BJBSJ. Had it first.

Ramones Time, Right Now, In This Town.
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12/30/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Christmas is past. On to next year.

Who has even criticized Cam Newton for running in touchdowns? Complete straw man argument.

More a wet Christmas than a White Christmas, amirite?

“DJ Bean” sounds like a pseudonym someone would use at a bathhouse. Coincidence?

Hey, haters and losers, this Week’s Phrase that Pays is ‘Your not important, their was fraud.’

Oh you have migraines? Maybe try putting down your phone and not following up every tweet.

Covid truther Gerry Callahan left the house with such a Boo Radley-ian frequency in 2020, I’m beginning to think Tom Robinson moved in next door.

Cakes are cooking for Sandy Koufax, Janet Mills, Michael Nesmith, Guy Edwards, and Michelle McGann.

Athlete Account of the Year: Ryan Kalish.

Cam feels terrible all the momentum disappeared after Folk’s missed extra point!

Some poor bastard in the Mexican-American War bought the farm because his nominal guardian angel Clarence Oddbody was sleeping off his rum punch.

Sometimes you just need to have a bacon cheeseburger and a glass of red wine at 3:45pm, ya know?

Minihane making a charitable endeavor about his own personal vendettas? I am shocked.

If that dummy’s website name wasn’t a direct quote it would no doubt be titled “All Politic’s Are Local.”

If Cam does everything Bill has asked of him, maybe Bill should ask him to pass for more than 30 total yards this Sunday. Just a thought.

Just don’t call Nick Saban late for dinner!

Energy Principle. As toe off occurs from ground, wrist is reaching its extension point at the end of upward arm motion ensuring energy transfer & transition into the propulsive push into ball flight.

Best smile in Boston Sports media? Keith Smith in a landslide.

More #Rams news: The team placed WR Cooper Kupp on the Reserve/COVID-19 list.

Jared Carrabis searches his name on Twitter. You know what to do.

Emmanuel Acho makes me think of the GEICO ads that needed to explicitly mention Brian Orakpo’s name so we’d know who the hell he was.

Been feeling off and unsure last few days and now that I realize it was a full moon in Cancer last night it all makes sense.

We drank a toast to innocence. We drank a toast to time. Reliving in our eloquence. Another ‘auld lang syne’. The beer was empty and our tongues were tired, and running out of things to say. She gave a kiss to me as I got out and I watched her drive away. Just for a moment I was back at school and felt that old familiar pain. And as I turned to make my way back home the snow turned into rain.

The olds love the touch lamps with the 3-way bulbs.

Red Line: Delays of up to 10 minutes due to an official investigating a report of a person walking on the tracks between South Station and Downtown Crossing.

It sucks to lose a dog. Hug your furry beasties a little tighter.

The Great and General Court is in no hurry to legalize sports betting in the Commonwealth. At all.

Liking Blink 182 should be grounds for a recall petition.

I think the Greenteamers are gonna like this Pritchard kid. What? What did I say? Oh, that. And that.

It breaks my heart to see more discarded masks littering the ground than losing scratch tickets. We need this pandemic to end.

Honk if you don’t forget auld acquaintance.

I liked the Cheez-It Bowl better when it was the Carquest Bowl.

RIP @transientexist.

Even Dumb Movies like Wonder Woman 84 can gets suckers to watch.

Still Team Stidhsy.

Prop Bet for 2021: Over/under 13.5 new Dan Lifshatz twitter accounts.

Best bet for the weekend: Iowa State in the Fiesta Bowl.

We’re on to 2021.

Wet Blankets & Wet Bandits.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. Dedicated to the memory of Roan, a good dog.

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Happy Christmas Eve Cartoon Tyme

Thank you to our talented cartoonists, whose names I forget, and to our intern, who was supposed to upload this post but forgot their login credentials. Good Job. Good Effort. Merry. Happy.

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12/23/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Merry Xmas!

Good luck this semi-fake season Celtics. Anything is possible.

Just so DJ Bean is clear, the Sports Junk Drawer is not click bait, either.

Eggnog. Arguably the best nog.

More tackles broken in the backfield than any game I can ever remember.

I just assumed every strip club has it’s own assigned NBA player, the way country clubs and muni courses each have a golf pro.

Does Chris Gasper have a holiday scarf collection? Just asking the question.

Nothing is a better remedy for seasonal affective disorder than a trip to Puerto Vallarta somebody else paid for.

I guess the DSM-5 doesn’t recognize ‘Attention From Strangers-Deficit Disorder’ as an actual malady. Maybe the 6 will.

So Bob Ryan just learned about the Tuck Rule, and Twix, I guess the Tylenol Product Tampering Poisonings from 1982 comes next.

If you want Bruins news that occasionally beats the big boys you check out Jimmie Murphy at whatever blog he does! Days of Y’Orr, maybe?

Cam Newton is actually playing pretty great if you’re not using traditional metrics like completions and yards and touchdowns and wins!

Cakes are cooking for Jorma Kaukonen, Bill Rodgers, Carla Bruni, and Finn Wolfhard.

Paul Pierce is The Truth. And The Truth belongs in the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Cube steak prepared the right way is nothing to sleep on.

“Battle ax” – That’s what the goalies call their sticks. Only ice hockey insiders know that.

Here’s hoping for the Next Man Up at the sports desk at Channel 5.

So I won an Amazon Fire Stick at a holiday raffle. But I can’t find where you’re supposed to fill it with lighter fluid. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Speaking of fire, that poor busboy at the Cocoanut Grove thinks N’Keal Harry has passed him as the most unfairly reviled person in the Greater Boston Area.

Ron Rivera says in looking around the league, the Washington Football Team decided a fine for Dwayne Haskins was in line with what has been the standard this year. No suspension or taking reps away.

Orange Line: Delays of up to 10 minutes southbound due to a train with an earlier mechanical problem approaching North Station.

‘It’s a Fine Conjunction.’ – Evan Lazar, probably.

News Item: supermodel Stella Tennant dies at age 50. When did she play for the Steelers?

What can WEEI do to boost their ratings? Lou can’t dye his hair any darker! He’s all out of ideas!

WARRIOR Ice Arena is humming with the sound of Bruins practice!

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yuletide gain
Next year all our troubles will be miles away.

Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithfull friends who are near to us
Will be dear to us
Once more.

Somedays soon we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
So have yourself a merry little Christmas, now.

Pasta is a Good Kid AND a Good Guy.

Governor Baker wants #The15 to not meet in one indoor location.

Hey there gang, this week’s emergency backup Phrase that Pays is “Daddy doesn’t make the rules.”

James Harden got strawberry juices all over Olojuwan’s retired jersey? Oh no.

Gasper’s been singing Jedd Fisch’s praises for months, probably.

Smize!

Honk if you remember the Boston Garden’s smaller ice surface.

Dogs seem to love Christmas. They get IT.

Bryant beats UMass. I’d weep, but my tears were vacated.

Am I nuts, or does that Patriots practice setlist feature a lot of Young Jeezy?

Lotta closet space over at WCVB. Apparently.

Best bet for the weekend: Hatrack Newton starts.

Have a safe Youksmas Eve.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, and #the15 were used in this column. God bless us; every one.

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12/17/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Bwahahahahaha!

Shelby Scott SZN.

Love means never having to say you’re sorry for not clicking a Steve Buckley article.

Kyrie’s “pawns” comment is wrong… pawns can actually be useful.

Is MapQuest still a thing?

Walt Coleman’s correct call didn’t cost you the Snow Bowl, Raiders. Way to compete.

I’m starting to think this low budget 80’s movie didn’t pay enough attention to the small details.

Cakes are cooking for Wes Studi, Bill Pullman, Bob Stinson, Michele Tafoya,  Milla Jovovich, and N’Keal Harry.

And cakes we cooked yesterday for Jon Tenney, Billy Ripken, Miranda Otto, Mariza, and Trevor Immelman are in the break room.

I’ve been to some low end harness racing tracks.

Where’s Hunter Renfroe? With the Red Sox!

Fine, if I buy something from you people, will you STOP sending Sharper Image catalogues!?

Giants OC Jason Garrett has tested positive for COVID-19. Freddie Kitchens will call plays for the team on Sunday.

The dumb renumbering of the exit numbers of the MassPike makes me want to punch a bureaucrat. But I probably have to fill out a bunch of forms to do that.

Medical doctors, dentists, veterinarians. That’s it.

You’re sure Manish Mehta covered the Jets and not the Patriots for the NYDN paper? If you say so.

Gordon Hayward shouldn’t buy ant lottery tickets.

Cancer got bored with Gary Tanguay.

News Item: PLL and MLL to merge. #CONSONANTS

C’s preseason seems to start later every year.

Red Line: Delays of up to 20 minutes southbound due to a switch problem near JFK/UMass.Trains may be asked to stand by at stations.

Don’t refer to winter storms by people names. Just no.

Hey Bill the GM defenders, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “He elf tour.”

No one has asked what I want for Christmas yet and we’re only 9 days out so I just kinda wanna know what gives.

I’m sure this isn’t the first time Abby Chin has been someone’s last resort.

If you live in an area expected to get the dryer powdery snow, you are exempt from making sure to charge your devices and checking in on elderly neighbors.

Spoiler:  the hardware store is out of shear pins.

You know there’s a big payout in one of the Megabucks/MegaMillions/Poweball games when there’s a Channel 7 News van at Ted’s Stateline Mobil.

#GiftofSox, anyone?

Tidy 37 point game, Tre Mitchell. Go U! Go UMass!

Anyone on a bike today who isn’t trying to collect two dollars from Lane Meyer should be arrested on sight.

You only have the Christmas Blend Blonde Roast ready, Starbucks? What kind of operation are you running here?

Honk if you’ve ever cut through a frozen cranberry bog to get to Gillette Stadium in the snow.

Don’t crowd the plow.

“Blog” is short for “belong” gentlemen. That’s what we all need. That’s where we’re going.

Dale Arnold has lifts in his Timberlands.

Entitled Town will return.

Best bet for the weekend: great deals at the Lord & Taylor going out of business sale.

What a worthless profession.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, and #the15 were used in this column Lift with your legs, not your back.

Let’s be careful out there. #BoldDrivers
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12/09/2020 More in Sorrow Than Anger Rolling Back Everywhere the Sports Junk Drawer Cleaning to Step 3 Phase 1

Shake? Psyche!

So there. For the second consecutive autumn, the New England Revolution are not going to break the region’s Championship drought.

I mainly follow Serie A.

You don’t see Deebo pushing anybody down! Probably because he creates SEPARATION! He takes the TOP OFF! In conclusion, Nick Chubb!

Anyone saying how much 2020 has been the worst year apparently didn’t hear that the McRib is back.

You don’t even know what a trade exemption is, do you?

Cakes are cooking for Dick Butkus, World B. Free, Fabrice Santoro, and Wendy Dillinger.

Imagine feuding with Lou Merloni being the breaking point where you’ve lost respect for Craig Carton.

It’s almost like valuing special teams play comes in handy when, say you have a hatrack under center.

Is there a baseball jock Jared Carrabis won’t sniff?

So breakdancing is an official Olympic sport….can we also make snowball fights legal as well

I’m making a gingerbread replica of WARRIOR Ice Arena.

Dotty Parton has great knockers.

Ohio State/Michigan game cancelled, Bertie Breer hardest hit.

Repost: I swear the Globe should put a spicy pepper symbol next to Shirley Leung’s columns to warn us of any hot takes contained therein!

Get your Followers up pussbag

Who told you that you can’t win in this league unless you have a quarterback who can make all the throws? Charley Casserly? Was it him?

I prefer podcasts that aren’t recorded in storage units.

Hug your difficult head groundskeepers a little tighter tonight.

The MRI confirmed that Essang Bassey, a promising UDFA, has a torn ACL. Out for the season.

There’s no bigger fucking loser than Turtlecunt.

Some say if you tweet like Katie Nolan long enough you become her.

Life Hack: Increase your Twitter efficiency model by shortening “rookies” to “rooks.”

Why am I seeing mailboxes aligned parallel to the street, instead of the usual perpendicular? Is this like when people started lifting their windshield wipers up before a snowstorm?

@BPhillips_SB is really going to soil himself when Cam Newton passes for over 100 yards in a game some day!

AOL appears to have lost 2,000 of my recent e-mails. Has this happened to anybody else, or just me?

Who are you kidding? you’re not making soup. Throw that turkey carcass out.

Richard Deitsch searches his name on Twitter. You know what to do.

Not so funny when someone walks into *your* house unannounced, huh, Tom Brady?

Albania isn’t a real country.

I wish @ThatDaveBrown still had a press pass so he could ask the Jarrett Stidham question.

Ok, bud.

Last week was Cleats For a Cause by the NFL. The calendar turned yesterday and it was “pimp for a coordinator” day by the media.

Hey there gang of elite volumetric hackers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Honestly Genius.”

Gina. Not owning.

Red Sox are in on everyone in the Rule 5 Draft!

Nicknames? We’re bemoaning the lack of nicknames in sports nowadays? Well I got a snappy nickname for you to use, KPD; ‘Hatrack’ Newton. Enjoy!

Political operatives are telling me McRib plans on challenging Mayor McCheese in the upcoming primary.

You can have the Molina’s, I’ll take the Farmiga’s.

Chris Gasper does have a nice beard.

You want a BJBSJ sweatshirt? I can get you a BJBSJ sweatshirt. We’ll talk.

Choirs will be singing “Silent Night,”
Christmas carols by candlelight.
Please come home for Christmas.
Please come home for Christmas.
If not for Christmas, by New Year’s night.

It’s a bit of a relief not to have to constantly defend Tom Brady anymore.

Is everybody at WEEI a midget?

Honk if you ever went Christmas shopping at Downtown Crossing.

Another Life Hack: if you order on the Dunkin app, you can select “Light Ice” or something like that where they’ll put less ice, and it means you’ll actually get more beverage, aka more bang for your buck. Otherwise, it’s like, 80% ice.

Hi Marv!

There are better places in the Boston area to watch an outdoor Bruins game than at Fenway Park.

What’s Big Gym doing out on a rooftop deck? I thought he reacted to bright light like Gizmo. Fraud.

Well if world-class dummy Peter King thinks that Jack Easterby isn’t running things behind the scenes, that’s good enough for me!

Best bet for the weekend: Maccabees in a rout.

Useless.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesBSMW, @PatsSixtySeven, and #the15 were used in this column.

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12/02/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

You want it. You know you do.

Bill would rather have two chickens than a turkey!

What is a jeezy?

Anyone know where I can get half a Hershey bar for $10.99? Preferably local. I’d drive from Bellingham for one.

I’m not sure Hop got his toe down inbounds.

I’m sure Corporate Kirk loves being forced to shill overpriced tee shirts on the marching orders of Davey Day Trader!

Thank God Marisa Ingemi didn’t take that job with Quibi.

So I guess its curtains for Drapes at NBCSN. Best of luck in your future endeavors, Mr. Draper.

It’s a fact everybody loves expensive meatballs for Christmas, and do I have the guy for you! Ad 4 @Table.

Listen, anytime you get the chance to double your struggling quarterback’s salary in order to bench him you have to do it.

Cakes are cooking for Gerry Cheevers, Cathy Lee Crosby, Penelope Spheeris, Dan Butler, and Randy Gardner.

Trade Exemption Danny.

In a shocking turn of events, the broken Christmas lights we put away last year still don’t work.

A well-earned Special Teams Co-player of the Week Award, Ms. Fuller. You go, girl!

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “Eye discipline.”

Professional boxing is not what it once was.

Every broad can transgender by putting on a baseball hat. Simple.

MLB free agent Cory Kluber lives in Winchester during the off season? Does he deliver home heating oil too like he’s an MLB player in 1959?

Red Line Update: Delays of up to 15 minutes due to a train with an earlier mechanical problem at Davis.

Those Pats Pulpit writers sure do love themselves an 84 yards passing, 0 TDs and 2 INTs game! Smdh.

Giblets is a funny word. Giblets.

Of the two, Bridget has the prettier face. There; I said it.

State Farm’s dedication to trying to make Aaron Rodgers seem likable is admirable, I guess.

The color temperature is wrong on a lot of those Christmas lights I see on the houses out there in this town.

Despite being eligible to come off the COVID-19 reserve list, neither #Ravens RBs Mark Ingram or JK Dobbins are expected to play today. Gus Edwards will start for Baltimore.

Mina just guessed it was Harrison. Not impressed.

Don’t you know that you’re toxic?
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic?

You’ll get that elusive win next full season UMass football.

I hope there are no supply chain issues with ribbon candy this holiday season.

‘Why did Bill the GM trade for WR depth during a pandemic?’ – Dummies.

NBA sked leak sez Kyrie is coming to play against his old team on Christmas? I’ll believe it when I sees it.

Nine dollars for a gyro? Outrageous!

I don’t write this column for statistical benefits.

Best bet for the weekend: the house finally not smelling like a Bell’s Seasoning truck overturned in the driveway.

Super Cute Atari Baseball?

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this columnThanks the the crew at Spoiler Alert! for filling in last week.

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Guest column – Spoiler Alert!

Note- Mr. Scartelli has the day off. Please enjoy this submission assembled by his co-workers at Spoiler Alert!, an aftermarket spoiler sales and installation shop in Plainville.

Warning: Spoilers to Follow.

Spoiler Alert: it’s a Prius gamely chugging uphill that’s causing the five mile long slowdown on the Pike.

Spoiler Alert: Boston is in no danger of once again becoming a college football town.

Spoiler Alert: you’re not important enough to receive one of the first doses of the CoVid-19 vaccine.

Spoiler Alert: good seats will still be available at America’s Most Beloved Ballpark.

Spoiler Alert: 50,000,000 Elvis fans CAN be wrong.

Spoiler Alert. it’s not the tryptophan in the turkey that made you pass out on the couch.

Spoiler Alert: Asian women do not have an extra muscle.

Spoiler Alert: you aren’t going to ever use the ‘fax’ feature on your home printer.

Spoiler Alert: no one has hit a 565 foot home run. Ever.

Spoiler Alert: the late Albert DeSalvo may not be responsible for the so-called Boston Strangler slayings.

Spoiler Alert: Brie Larson has a flat ass.

Spoiler Alert: it’s possible to go south on 93 and north on 128 at the same time!

Spoiler Alert: there never was a Loyko Investigation.

Spoiler Alert: Russ isn’t running his socials.

Spoiler Alert: ‘painter of light’ Thomas Kinkaide? A bit of a hack.

Spoiler Alert: the first thanksgiving took place in 1621 and was not a traditional feast of thanks but merely a celebration of a bountiful harvest.

Spoiler Alert: Elle Duncan? Not white!

Spoiler Alert. ‘Corinthian leather’ is not actually a thing.

Spoiler Alert: Pat Burns? Still dead.

Spoiler Alert: yes, AAPL has devised a way to remote drain the battery on your old iPhone in tandem with the release of a new iPhone model.

Spoiler Alert: Sixto looks nothing like Big Papi.

Spoiler Alert: the broad hosting the true crime podcast is in love with the suspect.

Spoiler Alert: Jim Nantz is not your friend.

Spoiler Alert: the Automile in Norwood is actually almost three miles in length.

Spoiler Alert: North American Sports Commissioners are not required to be from New York City!

Spoiler Alert: Len Bias may have sampled cocaine prior to June of 1986.

Spoiler Alert: Mary Ann’s sucked.

Spoiler Alert: Paul Revere did not act alone: he was actually one of several riders on April 18, 1775.

Spoiler Alert: of course that stripper likes you; you just gave her $300.

Spoiler Alert: Bridget pulled the goalie, as it were.

Spoiler Alert: it’s a sled.

Spoiler Alert: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving won a makeup call Emmy.

Spoiler Alert: Chuck Stuart had help getting off that bridge.

Spoiler Alert: the song title is ‘Your Love’.

Spoiler Alert: the Plymouth Rock you see today is like George Washington’s tomahawk.

Spoiler Alert: BJBSJ – Always First.

Look at that” – Scott Zolak, when on the radio.

Be sure to stop by Spoiler Alert! off Industrial Avenue in Plainville for all your aftermarket spoiler needs.

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11/18/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Same name!

Dugie is upset Dugie can’t film Dugie getting metaphorically shoved down our throats.

That fez was wearing Cam. Sorrey!

Congratulations to Kim Ng on being the first female GM in professional sports. Can Mina Kimes be far behind?

Tony Robbins should be able to fix AB before the next blowup.

BJBSJ is non partisan. All democrats, independents, and republicans are welcome.

The NBA Draft is tonight? Why wasn’t I informed of this earlier? DARREN!

Bill the Coach is still trying to win football games because he’s scared Bill the GM is gonna whiff on a low draft pick.

Cakes are cooking for Linda Evans, Tony Franklin, Kirk Hammett, and Lee Anne Ketcham.

It’s also supposedly David Ortiz’s birthday, but, you know, “Dominican Birth Certificate.”

Anyone got any fleet jokes?

Quite the Masters, Dustin Johnson. Less time to get ready for the next one, though.

Have neckties gotten skinnier, or have I gotten wider? Both? Oh.

Happy trails, Theo Epstein. Next stop: Queens? Or Cooperstown?

Blehhh! Ernie Adams Weather Control Machine! Blehhhh!!!

These NHL Reverse Retro Jerseys have a real Malibu Stacy’s New Hat energy to them.

Gord Hayward.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is “He was turning his life around.”

Nick Foles was the unwitting beneficiary of an unannounced beta test of an NFL rules change.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Mine is flat plain seltzer!

I get all my NBA insider info from pasty gayball wrasslin’ fans.

Do record stores sell records again? Pretty neat.

A game featuring Matt Nagy and Anthony Lynn coaching against each other would never end.

Looking out a dirty old window. Down below the cars in the city go rushing by. I sit here alone and I wonder why. Friday night and everyone’s moving.
I can feel the heat but it’s soothing, heading down. I search for the beat in this dirty town.

Trying to recognize people wearing masks out and about has let to some weird interior monologues, like “Is that Aunt Marge? No, it can’t be; she’s heavier. And dead.”

Beating a Harbro using a trick play just hits different.

Are we in the trust tree? Okay, good. I really liked the 2010 version of The A-Team with Li Neeson, Brad Cooper & Jess Biel.

WARRIOR Ice Arena. That’s it. That’s the post.

What’s next a new Baybank feature? Come on do better Twitter.

Too many chats!

When did I eat asparagus? What is going on?

Dave and Iron are in midseason form on their Entitled Town podcast. Which makes sense, actually.

Wow, that @bsp_13 sure is a smokeshow!

so the red sox held a press conference to re introduce and the owners would not be there…republicans say..bold move

No Wahlburgers grand opening in Springfield until April?

Honk if you remember the drought.

BJBSJ has voted unanimously not to certify Chard Finn’s totally real New England’s sports media poll after many, many voting irregularities were uncovered.

Dogs, bruh.

A Fisty/Lil Jerry buddy comedy: who says no?

Best bet for the weekend: Houston Texans being on the cusp of the brink of irrelevance.

Heh heh heh.

material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sourcesand #the15 were used in this column

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