Broken BlueCheckmarks Bulletin – 2nd Edition: Brown Aftermath, Staredown Vigil

This logo might as well be their brains.

Well, that was fast wasn’t it? In the few weeks since our last edition of the BBCB we saw two Patriots games, one with a #17 and one without. We saw journalists who assault cab drivers for fun get praised effusively from his fellow journalists for taking down accused and not convicted sex offender. And we saw a sports reporter who passed away and then was resurrected all due to a stare from a head coach in power. There are plenty of scabs to pick at in the Twitterverse on these topics, but let’s focus on one in particular.

The stare heard ’round the world that killed a woman and propelled an entire army of media sycophants to honor her even if she didn’t ask.

Ten minutes before the start of the Jets/Patriots game CBS Sports’ Dana Jacobson did the pre-game interview no one likes where you get no information and cliched responses. Naturally, she wanted to ask about Antonio Brown (as was probably stressed by a producer or higher up) and naturally Belichick did what he did. “We’re focused on the Jets”. Two professionals doing their duties. No harm no foul right? Not on the logical, fair website/application known as Twitter. First the ending of the interview was framed as a “death stare”. Second cousin to “death panels”.

And that is where the fireworks started. Get ready. The brains are about to be broken. And the vigil is about to begin. RIP Dana Jacobson. Put up your candles. Alexa, play Sarah McLachlan, “I Will Remember You”.

Ahhh, yes. You’re going to see this word a lot in this bulletin. “Accountable” and “accountability”. And I love her using the word “slinked”. What, did he bend and go down the stairs like a Slinky?

Confirmed!

Another buzzword that you’ll notice a pattern of usage here: INTIMIDATE. Please don’t do any drinking games with these words. BJBSJ does not recommend drinking and driving. Or drinking and tweeting for that matter. Although it is good fodder for this.

Here comes Jane again. Jane stop this crazy thing.

This is very rich coming from a woman who works at a company who has been recently sued for sexual harassment allegations. Not to mention being in business with someone who made sexist comments to one of its hosts.

“If people didn’t care about his job he wouldn’t have a job” is the funniest thing I have heard since people pronouncing “Reeses” Peanut Butter Cups as “REE-SEYS”. Get it together folks.

You had to know Ms. Cancelled ESPN Show had to get in on the beat-up-on-Belichick action. Her “A Different World” parody was better than this tripe and it was the worst thing ever on TV. “Those in power” is another phrase you will see often. As if Belichick is in any type of power position in the shaping of our country. He coaches adult men to throw and catch an object. In case you didn’t know before.

I sure am glad this guy isn’t on TV anymore so he can break the glass. INTIMIDATION!!!!

H/T @bron_y_aurstmp

PEOPLE IN POWER!!! DRI—-oh wait.

It’s one of the biggest stories!!!! Now click on my Bleacher Report article that will be separated into 15 slideshow pictures.

Oh boy how is this for hypocritical? This guy went on WEEI and called an athlete’s 6 year old daughter (the same athlete that has given that station and everyone who works there their entire career) a sniveling little pissant. And then went on Instagram wearing a shirt with that saying on it. This guy also blackmailed a coworker by threatening to go public with personal information if he didn’t get more airtime on the station. Yet he is giving opinions on who has carried themselves terribly? Gee.

POSITION OF POWER!!!!

Beaver Teeth over here calling Belichick a petulant child over the computer screen. Something he would never do in person of course.

All set? Is that a new thing the millennials say?

Local sports anchor advocates violence and then when confronted on it…

We know what you meant Mark. BECAUSE YOU SAID IT. You work for a station owned by Disney. I wonder what Disney would think about your not-so-family-friendly remarks.

Another triggered local sports anchor. No wonder the news business is being taken over by…well….Twitter.

Well we know Mr. Turner won’t be getting an ESPN job anytime soon. They do still speak English over there, right?

Already talked about the hypocrisy of ESPN employees on this topic.

Shout out to this outrage profiteer extraordinaire who cut a 2 minute audio congratulatory ball wash for known sexual harasser Mike Tirico. Talk about having zero respect for yourself and others. You go girl!

I’m spent. After all this fussing, you would think the person in the center of the action, Ms. Jacobson herself would be upset as well. Well, not so much. In fact, not at all. BAH GAWD! THAT’S DANA’S MUSIC! SHE’S ALIVE!!!

Bravo to you Dana for being as professional as you are and for confronting the perceived “issue” head on. Hope you had an incredible wedding!

Watch this space for another BlueCheck Bulletin. Hopefully it won’t be as extensive as this one. But whenever the Patriots or Boston is involved, it usually means a lot of tears and sadness and despair and irrational hate and venom from the rest of the world. BJBSJ will be here to sum it all up for you.

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Broken BlueCheckmarks Bulletin – Antonio Brown Edition: Part 1

Those 11 words were the catalyst of what will forever be known to the Patriot fanbase as the #BlueCheckMeltdown day. September 7th, 2019. The day the Patriots officially broke NFL Twitter and their souls collectively. No matter how you may feel that this lightning rod of a wide receiver named Antonio Brown will be wearing the Flying Elvis circa 9/9/2019, the endless supply of butthurt will give you life parallel to photosynthesis on plants. Now it is quite predictable and understandable that layman fans would have a problem with this, and even try to play Moulder & Scully on the Interwebz by insinuating foul play on the part of the Patriots and AB. But it is quite another thing to see people who are being monetarily compensated to report sports news (and be unbiased) absolutely lose their fucking shit over this story. So come with me down the Blue Brick Road of Tears and grab your umbrella and ponchos. This is gonna be a bumpy ride.

Hmmmm…interesting. (hi, TennisBallHead Volin) This sure sounds like he’s accusing the Patriots of a major rules violation…he must certainly be able to provide some proof of tampering, you know being such a Big J Journalist. Oh, he can’t? Never mind.


Dead serious here: you think he wrote this Tweet to promote his podcast that nobody listens to? Oh wait! Here’s the answer!

ABP. Always. Be. Promotin’.

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Because if there’s one thing we all know, it’s that athletes are our only role models in society. I wonder what Mr. Antennas-For-Ears thought about Tyreek Hill getting an expension from the Chiefs? Or Kareem Hunt getting swooped up by the Browns? I’d say if your kids are in any way affected by a grown man on the teevee, you suck at parenting. That was my Dr. Phil moment of the day.

Ahh, this one is a gem. The NY Rag certainly isn’t one to hide their disdain for all things red, silver and blue. Deserve hell sounds something out of an M. Night Shamacrap movie. Not a lot else to be happy about in The City That Needs To Go To Sleep. For example…

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Local sports man who gets 5 minute segment towards the end of local newscast has thoughts on things. Are you pretty much irrelevant on a national scale? Need some attention? Just talk about the Patriots! It’s a winning formula to get you the clickz ‘n viewz you need to get your 3 seconds of “fame”.

Last one for this edition (that’s right, there are so many brains that have been broken by this saga that this will be a 2, maybe 3 parter, watch this space). And this one comes to us for Mr. Preacher of the Church of Holier-Than-Thou, Tony Dungy.

A guy who hates people of another sexual orientation (one that his own son happened to be which may have been the cause of his untimely death) is telling the general public about AB. The same guy who had a WR on his team who was a drug kingpin, and a murderer. What a sanctimonious fraud. Everything he says is hypocritical trash.

That’s all for now. The Bulletin is now turning into an anthology. More crazy Tweets to come!

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BJBSJ Merch Store Clearance Sale

In April we launched the BJBSJ Merch Store and offered this shirt donning the King of Blocks, Chad Finn. Because in Boston, it isn’t a city, it’s a family of blocked accounts of people who criticize you on Twitter.

Sizes S-8X sold out, only 9X available, makes a great tablecloth!

Now we’re going CRAZY!!!!


Our first clearance sale has two very special items. First, a Lou Merloni autograph! Only $5.99! AKA more money than he made playing pro ball! Lou, how many more weeks until your format change to Country 93.7??

And finally, if you’re tired of all those fake bloggers who Tweet while sitting on their yachts selling way overpriced merchandise that only say big SAT words like “Cat” and “BASEBALL”, we’ve got the shirt for you!

Available in any color and font to make you the most obvious and deadpan person on your block! Run, don’t walk to the BJBSJ Clearance Sale today!

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The Triumvirate of Terrible

When these three are the best your network has to offer, it’s time to blow the whole thing up and start over.

BTW, if you were curious which you weren’t, that board Mazz was holding had the number 10 on it. Meaning Mazz thinks Chris Sale deserves ALL of the blame for the Sox’s slow start. Clean up all that blood from you pounding your head on the desk.

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MisTreat Yourself with Big Gym

“Hay @bigjimmurray could you whack yourself with one ‘a ‘dose bottles over dere?”

Here at #BJBSJ we suffer for our craft. You the reader want the best of the worst, and we deliver. No one else in the area (or the world) is willing to sacrifice 2 hours of their time (and sanity) to watch an upstart web series hosted by a sportz radio update reader. Well, we watched so you didn’t have to. At all. And trust us, you shouldn’t.

Consider this your RottenTomatoes-ish spoiler-filled guide to “Treat Yourself”. This might be a bit long, so brace yourself. Just don’t kill yourself. The pain is going to ease in on you like a gas bubble gurgling in your stomach.

So every episode begins with a radio being turned to……yep! You guessed it! 98.5!

Because non-mouthbreathers need to know what slapdick radio station you are from.

Every episode also begins with “TREAAAAAT YOURSELF” said in a funny, not-really-annoying-but-so-annoying-you-want-to-pull-your-ears-out-of-their-sockets way! Like one episode where you’re taken back to the 80s and you hear Madonna’s “Express Yourself” but really you hear “TREAT YOURSELF”!

The first show kicks off with Big Gym struggling to get across why he wanted to do a YouTube show in the first place. Nerves are a normal thing especially when you do something unfamiliar or new. But, when you are a semi-unpopular score reader on a radio show, it should come natural to….talk. He then gets arrogant and starts to say that the local restaurants should BACK OFF on asking him to recommend their place, because he knows this show will be such a hit, they will be begging him to do it.

Now for the recommendations. Your usual hangout bars and spots to go to before a Bs or Cs game. But he refers to this sign as a “warm glow of electric sex”. Huh?

He reviews Halftime Pizza in Boston, but uses this picture to show how appetizing their food looks. 🤢

Pass the napkins. And then, insert a typical guy from Boston to say how good the place is. How much did you get paid for this my guy?

The second episode is all about steak! The thing that 100% of his viewers and listeners absolutely can’t afford! (Unless the steak has an -umm next to it) But “Treat Yourself!!”

He starts off by trying to explain to the masses why there was a month delay between episodes 1 and 2. Because the masses were clamoring. And when we say masses we mean one massive dummy.

He blames the long hiatus (too long according to YouTube algorithms) on the Patriots’ “unexpected” run to a 6th Super Bowl title. Because in 30 days you can’t produce 5 minutes of content. “Episodes will be done on a more consistent basis.”

Please note that the time between episodes 2 and 3 was 2 and a half weeks!

Big Gym also brags about the first episode getting 3k views in a week. That first show now has 7k views and it’s been out for almost 3 months. Not good. Other channels that do similar things he does gets hundreds of thousands of views A DAY.

And now a shoutout to #BJBSJ colleague @PainDidntHurt and his Big Gym Blotters that you can find elsewhere on here. Big Gym running out of ideas, shows a bit of his menchies here.

Here’s a picture of an egg dish that, when referring to it he says, “Once ya break that yolks and it jizzes all over”. Appetizing, right??

Let’s show you one YouTube comment on this particular video. We’ll get to others later.

Is he? Not if he’s telling people to go to Grill 23. Let’s do a Google search and see how affordable Grill 23 is, huh?

Man of the people? Sure if those people are the President and Bob Kraft.

Thankfully the last episode is the shortest of the first three. It’s all about something else the common man can afford…..ART! But he’s so lazy that he outsources the entire episode to an old WFNX DJ. So it isn’t even about art that he likes.

But here’s the best part. At the end of watching this tortuous show, he asks people to give him their addresses so he can send them gift cards. He doesn’t say where to or what for.

And now to what you’ve not been waiting for….the YouTube comments!!! (See if you notice a theme here, and see if you notice a repeat commenter or two.) I recommend taking a nice shower before reading these.

To finish off one comment of zen.

Thank you Dave Nice. It is now time to wash these eyeballs out and use a Men In Black memory eraser.

If you want the live Instant reaction here is the link to that thread.

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Watching the Unwatchable, Part 2, Electric Boogaloo

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Yes, ladies and germs, I know what you’re saying. I can hear you. But it’s that time again. Time to dig into the wonderful world that is the Felger and Mazz Off-Air show on Facebook. For those of you unaware, Facebook and its other entities were having major outages recently. I kind of wish that outage deleted all their posts so I’d have an excuse not to do this again. But I had a two week break so I should be well prepared to watch this. Or so I thought.

I watched two of these and the first one was the one with a bunch of gems. I only chose two clips from this one because the rest was just a “feel-sorry for-and-also-proud-of-me” fest from Felgy about how much he didn’t mind not talking about the Robert Kraft scandal.

Take a gander at this first clip though. And after you watch it, put your eyebrow down. It causes wrinkles. Felger actually says out of his mouth that if his boss tells him he isn’t supposed to talk about or say something, that he doesn’t say it! He’s “The People’s Talk Show Host”!

I wonder if his boss, Mike Thomas or his former owners, CBS (now Beasley Media) told him not to say this….you know, AFTER HE SAID IT.

Was he fired after that horrendous comment? Nope! He’s still doing crappy Facebook Live videos among other things.

And here’s something that will totally knock the socks off your feet (it won’t). The two jackasses are DYING, HOPING, PRAYING to talk about another Patriots “cheating scandal”. Felger hopes he wouldn’t be told to hold off if one happened. (BTW, 98.5 just extended their contract with the Patriots, so that tells you how much they care about what is said about them at 1 Patriot Place, even if it means a character assassination or two.)

This last one. Well before I show you the clip, #BJBSJ has shown you the recent history of 98.5 and #ThePlayer. And you have already seen what crazy and asinine things randos will ask Large Gym about on a regular basis on Twitter.  Now put those things in the back of your mind when you watch this clip.

“HE DOESN’T REALLY HAVE AN AFRO.” Yes because black people all have afros as if they are straight out of Soul Train and talk in “jive” like JJ from Good Times. Oh, and a nice David Price shot for good measure.

Once again, we watch this crap so you don’t have to. At all. In total that was about 40 minutes of total chaos and calamity that I cut down to about 3 minutes.

Mark Zuckerberg, if you love me, you’ll shut down their account for good so I don’t have to keep doing this. But if not, I will try.

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Ok, OK, fine, Yoda.

 

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Watching the Unwatchable, Part 1

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So that’s how it began. A not so random conversation between #BJBSJ correspondents talking about Large Gym Murray and the manner in which he blocks people on Twitter who even so much as likes a Tweet that makes fun of him. It has turned into…well…this.

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10 minutes of your trusty blogger watching the most uninteresting, displeasing, inaccurate drivel ever published on social media. Believe it or not, 10 minutes is actually the SHORTEST Facebook Live that the 3 Dunces have done since someone had the stupid idea to allow this to happen. So, thankfully I don’t have too much content to work with….this week.

 

What I do have is two clips that are the epitome of cringe and outright bullshit all rolled into one. The “topic” was about the Oscars, believe it or not. Large Gym waltzes in with his heavy jacket like he’s about to climb Mount Everest. Felger and Murray begin to rail all over how much movies this year sucked and blew.

 

Now this first clip will make you throw up, and will probably make Mrs. Underwood-Felger do her best Captain Kirk facepalm. Felger pretty much verbally takes off his pants and jizzes over Emma Stone. Ms. Stone I would advise a restraining order STAT.

 

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Me too. And for this last clip, Large Gym raves about how short the Oscars were without a host, and then…….get this……….compares the OSCARS, a program seen by over 100 million people that takes over 300 people to put together, to FELGER AND MAZZ. The reach here will have your jaw fall straight to the ground.

 

“You’re in, you’re out, no pleasantries”

So basically this is Large Gym on all his dates:

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You know, now that I think about it, that is a good description of the entire Boston sports radio conglomerate.

Well, that’s it for this week. Once again, thank Hades for the fact that this was one of their shorter Facebook Lives. I have yet to dig into the back episodes of this mess. I also have yet to read through their comment section, but that would be like asking to be pushed off the Grand Canyon with a Ginsu knife. I’m not sure whether I should put myself through that or just wait until the next episode. Pray for me. But, I’ll be watching this on a regular basis now so you don’t have to. At all.

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Do you know who Marc(k) James is??? He’s on “NETWORK TV!!!”

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Great Value Hot Taker and predator to Women everywhere Marc James on the set of NESN showing off his crappy cut because reasons.

Marc Benarzyk (wouldn’t YOU change your last name to James if you had one like that too?) has been suspended TWICE from NESN. The first time was because he was verbally shot down by a woman (probably not the first time for him) and proceeded to stalk her repeatedly.

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There is nothing more pathetic than a X-list celebrity going “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??!” just to get a little somethin’-somethin’. Especially when he says this:

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NESN is a local sports cable channel only available in the New England area or if you pay for a streaming service. Not exactly “NETWORK TV!!!”

BJBSJ had the exclusive on the next time Dollar Tree Takez Man was suspended.

Wonder if that producer happened to be of the opposite sex? He’s already been thrown around media markets like a trout in a Seattle fish market.

Unfortunately he was only suspended for a week in the first case. But that didn’t stop Joe and the boys over at WEEI from picking him up and giving him the mic. He fits in with Pissant Alex Reimer and all the other 2 bit jocks, so why not? Once he’s on the mic though, he says things like this:

 

Scumbag predator throwing smears at players and coaches? That’s the Boston sports media way! Don’t worry, you won’t find the audio anywhere. It’s probably scrubbed. Thanks Mr. Zambrano!

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Today in Boston Media History: Wrong Borges Strikes Again

Last year marked ten years after the Boston Herald had to do some serious cleaning up after Tomase shat all over the Patriots.

Well a year ago today, they had to do the exact same thing regarding Ron Borges. Thanks to a kind citizen named “Nick in Boston”, he exchanged many texts with Borges claiming to be the agent of Jimmy Garoppolo and Tom Brady, Don Yee. These texts, seemingly very salacious for Borges, seemed to suggest that Brady would not show up to OTAs unless he got a contract similar to the one Garoppolo had signed earlier that week.

The story was written, the editors (?) approved it, and it was published. Unfortunately for them the story was debunked 3 ways to Sunday. Around 7:30 AM the next day the story was taken off of the website, but it was too late.

An apology followed:

A column by Ron Borges in today’s Herald regarding Patriot Tom Brady’s salary discussions was based on information which proved to be false.

The Herald apologizes to Brady, his agent Don Yee and the Patriots, and to our readers for this erroneous report.

Borges’ column has been suspended pending further review.

…and with it, Borges was never to be seen or heard from again.

Oh wait. He was heard from again. Just this past week voting on behalf of the Herald for the Pro Football HOF.

Happy 1 year anniversary, Ron!

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Defend the Wall? I Don’t Think So, Shoe Pisser!

Here at BJBSJ, we are an equal opportunity offender. Anyone can “get this smoke” as the kids say. And that includes those in the media who claim to be the biggest fans the world has ever seen. For those fans, as we have come to find out, are just shoe pissers with very large platforms and followings.

One of those happens to be Barstool Sports’ own (and formerly WEEI’s) Jerry Thornton. Just days after the Super Bowl he wrote an article proclaiming everyone else was wrong and HE was the only one who knew the team was capable all along.

I wouldn’t have been this braggadocious if I were him. Receipts exist for a reason, folks.

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Get your umbrellas and ponchos ready folks because the forecast calls for a steady drowning in pee.

Oh no ladies and gentlemen, the storm isn’t over yet. Stay inside of your basements and grab shelter. This downpour is steady.

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Ouch. Now, we aren’t doing this to bag on a Patriots fan. But this Patriots fan happens to still be cool with (and has had very cordial conversations online with) the Boston equivalent of the UniBomber and the guy who shot JR on “Dallas”. See for yourself.

Yes, John Tomase. The same John Tomase responsible for the entire galaxy thinking that the Patriots taped the Rams’ practices in 2001. A report that was reported on by Hannah Storm on ESPN a few years ago and then CORRECTED at 2AM the next morning. A report in which Eric Dickerson, Marshall Faulk and any other butthurt fan or player still sites TO THIS DAY. The same John Tomase who once claimed he doesn’t even watch football….

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We know that isn’t true. Or maybe it is. Who can tell the difference? But why play footsie and talk My Little Pony of all things with that guy? Here was his explanation on why he never said anything to him or about him during his tenure at WEEI.

img_20190208_2202166193293854893233484.jpgOn one hand that is a terrible thing to be shut out of any chance to confront the guy. Making a living and paying your bills is a mindset we all have to live by at one point or another. But your dignity has to be intact at the end of the day. You can’t be online beating your chest Tarzan style proclaiming yourself the “biggest defender of the wall” and then when the biggest test of them all comes along you swallow a shrink ray and become a mute. You can make money plenty of different ways. But “defending the wall” against the guy who is the reason there is even a need for a wall to be defended is priceless.

And then the shoe pissing during games doesn’t help matters either. It all seems disingenuous. And hypocritical. Oh well, time for another “S&^t Pats Fans Say: 2019 offseason Edition!”

 

 

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