When these three are the best your network has to offer, it’s time to blow the whole thing up and start over.
BTW, if you were curious which you weren’t, that board Mazz was holding had the number 10 on it. Meaning Mazz thinks Chris Sale deserves ALL of the blame for the Sox’s slow start. Clean up all that blood from you pounding your head on the desk.
Here at #BJBSJ we suffer for our craft. You the reader want the best of the worst, and we deliver. No one else in the area (or the world) is willing to sacrifice 2 hours of their time (and sanity) to watch an upstart web series hosted by a sportz radio update reader. Well, we watched so you didn’t have to. At all. And trust us, you shouldn’t.
Consider this your RottenTomatoes-ish spoiler-filled guide to “Treat Yourself”. This might be a bit long, so brace yourself. Just don’t kill yourself. The pain is going to ease in on you like a gas bubble gurgling in your stomach.
So every episode begins with a radio being turned to……yep! You guessed it! 98.5!
Because non-mouthbreathers need to know what slapdick radio station you are from.
Every episode also begins with “TREAAAAAT YOURSELF” said in a funny, not-really-annoying-but-so-annoying-you-want-to-pull-your-ears-out-of-their-sockets way! Like one episode where you’re taken back to the 80s and you hear Madonna’s “Express Yourself” but really you hear “TREAT YOURSELF”!
The first show kicks off with Big Gym struggling to get across why he wanted to do a YouTube show in the first place. Nerves are a normal thing especially when you do something unfamiliar or new. But, when you are a semi-unpopular score reader on a radio show, it should come natural to….talk. He then gets arrogant and starts to say that the local restaurants should BACK OFF on asking him to recommend their place, because he knows this show will be such a hit, they will be begging him to do it.
Now for the recommendations. Your usual hangout bars and spots to go to before a Bs or Cs game. But he refers to this sign as a “warm glow of electric sex”. Huh?
He reviews Halftime Pizza in Boston, but uses this picture to show how appetizing their food looks. 🤢
Pass the napkins. And then, insert a typical guy from Boston to say how good the place is. How much did you get paid for this my guy?
The second episode is all about steak! The thing that 100% of his viewers and listeners absolutely can’t afford! (Unless the steak has an -umm next to it) But “Treat Yourself!!”
He starts off by trying to explain to the masses why there was a month delay between episodes 1 and 2. Because the masses were clamoring. And when we say masses we mean one massive dummy.
He blames the long hiatus (too long according to YouTube algorithms) on the Patriots’ “unexpected” run to a 6th Super Bowl title. Because in 30 days you can’t produce 5 minutes of content. “Episodes will be done on a more consistent basis.”
Please note that the time between episodes 2 and 3 was 2 and a half weeks!
Big Gym also brags about the first episode getting 3k views in a week. That first show now has 7k views and it’s been out for almost 3 months. Not good. Other channels that do similar things he does gets hundreds of thousands of views A DAY.
And now a shoutout to #BJBSJ colleague @PainDidntHurt and his Big Gym Blotters that you can find elsewhere on here. Big Gym running out of ideas, shows a bit of his menchies here.
Here’s a picture of an egg dish that, when referring to it he says, “Once ya break that yolks and it jizzes all over”. Appetizing, right??
Let’s show you one YouTube comment on this particular video. We’ll get to others later.
Is he? Not if he’s telling people to go to Grill 23. Let’s do a Google search and see how affordable Grill 23 is, huh?
Man of the people? Sure if those people are the President and Bob Kraft.
Thankfully the last episode is the shortest of the first three. It’s all about something else the common man can afford…..ART! But he’s so lazy that he outsources the entire episode to an old WFNX DJ. So it isn’t even about art that he likes.
But here’s the best part. At the end of watching this tortuous show, he asks people to give him their addresses so he can send them gift cards. He doesn’t say where to or what for.
And now to what you’ve not been waiting for….the YouTube comments!!! (See if you notice a theme here, and see if you notice a repeat commenter or two.) I recommend taking a nice shower before reading these.
To finish off one comment of zen.
Thank you Dave Nice. It is now time to wash these eyeballs out and use a Men In Black memory eraser.
If you want the live Instant reaction here is the link to that thread.
— Lazy Outrage Person (@AtomicDawg5150) March 23, 2019
Yes, ladies and germs, I know what you’re saying. I can hear you. But it’s that time again. Time to dig into the wonderful world that is the Felger and Mazz Off-Air show on Facebook. For those of you unaware, Facebook and its other entities were having major outages recently. I kind of wish that outage deleted all their posts so I’d have an excuse not to do this again. But I had a two week break so I should be well prepared to watch this. Or so I thought.
I watched two of these and the first one was the one with a bunch of gems. I only chose two clips from this one because the rest was just a “feel-sorry for-and-also-proud-of-me” fest from Felgy about how much he didn’t mind not talking about the Robert Kraft scandal.
Take a gander at this first clip though. And after you watch it, put your eyebrow down. It causes wrinkles. Felger actually says out of his mouth that if his boss tells him he isn’t supposed to talk about or say something, that he doesn’t say it! He’s “The People’s Talk Show Host”!
I wonder if his boss, Mike Thomas or his former owners, CBS (now Beasley Media) told him not to say this….you know, AFTER HE SAID IT.
Was he fired after that horrendous comment? Nope! He’s still doing crappy Facebook Live videos among other things.
And here’s something that will totally knock the socks off your feet (it won’t). The two jackasses are DYING, HOPING, PRAYING to talk about another Patriots “cheating scandal”. Felger hopes he wouldn’t be told to hold off if one happened. (BTW, 98.5 just extended their contract with the Patriots, so that tells you how much they care about what is said about them at 1 Patriot Place, even if it means a character assassination or two.)
This last one. Well before I show you the clip, #BJBSJ has shown you the recent history of 98.5 and #ThePlayer. And you have already seen what crazy and asinine things randos will ask Large Gym about on a regular basis on Twitter. Now put those things in the back of your mind when you watch this clip.
“HE DOESN’T REALLY HAVE AN AFRO.” Yes because black people all have afros as if they are straight out of Soul Train and talk in “jive” like JJ from Good Times. Oh, and a nice David Price shot for good measure.
Once again, we watch this crap so you don’t have to. At all. In total that was about 40 minutes of total chaos and calamity that I cut down to about 3 minutes.
Mark Zuckerberg, if you love me, you’ll shut down their account for good so I don’t have to keep doing this. But if not, I will try.
Ok, OK, fine, Yoda.
So that’s how it began. A not so random conversation between #BJBSJ correspondents talking about Large Gym Murray and the manner in which he blocks people on Twitter who even so much as likes a Tweet that makes fun of him. It has turned into…well…this.
10 minutes of your trusty blogger watching the most uninteresting, displeasing, inaccurate drivel ever published on social media. Believe it or not, 10 minutes is actually the SHORTEST Facebook Live that the 3 Dunces have done since someone had the stupid idea to allow this to happen. So, thankfully I don’t have too much content to work with….this week.
What I do have is two clips that are the epitome of cringe and outright bullshit all rolled into one. The “topic” was about the Oscars, believe it or not. Large Gym waltzes in with his heavy jacket like he’s about to climb Mount Everest. Felger and Murray begin to rail all over how much movies this year sucked and blew.
Now this first clip will make you throw up, and will probably make Mrs. Underwood-Felger do her best Captain Kirk facepalm. Felger pretty much verbally takes off his pants and jizzes over Emma Stone. Ms. Stone I would advise a restraining order STAT.
Me too. And for this last clip, Large Gym raves about how short the Oscars were without a host, and then…….get this……….compares the OSCARS, a program seen by over 100 million people that takes over 300 people to put together, to FELGER AND MAZZ. The reach here will have your jaw fall straight to the ground.
“You’re in, you’re out, no pleasantries”
So basically this is Large Gym on all his dates:
You know, now that I think about it, that is a good description of the entire Boston sports radio conglomerate.
Well, that’s it for this week. Once again, thank Hades for the fact that this was one of their shorter Facebook Lives. I have yet to dig into the back episodes of this mess. I also have yet to read through their comment section, but that would be like asking to be pushed off the Grand Canyon with a Ginsu knife. I’m not sure whether I should put myself through that or just wait until the next episode. Pray for me. But, I’ll be watching this on a regular basis now so you don’t have to. At all.
Marc Benarzyk (wouldn’t YOU change your last name to James if you had one like that too?) has been suspended TWICE from NESN. The first time was because he was verbally shot down by a woman (probably not the first time for him) and proceeded to stalk her repeatedly.
There is nothing more pathetic than a X-list celebrity going “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??!” just to get a little somethin’-somethin’. Especially when he says this:
NESN is a local sports cable channel only available in the New England area or if you pay for a streaming service. Not exactly “NETWORK TV!!!”
BJBSJ had the exclusive on the next time Dollar Tree Takez Man was suspended.
NESN suspended him for an argument that almost came to blows with a producer. Real shame how this news leaked out, huh?
— Craig Bernard, Irish Polar Bear for #BJBSJ (@defnotGG) January 15, 2019
Wonder if that producer happened to be of the opposite sex? He’s already been thrown around media markets like a trout in a Seattle fish market.
Unfortunately he was only suspended for a week in the first case. But that didn’t stop Joe and the boys over at WEEI from picking him up and giving him the mic. He fits in with Pissant Alex Reimer and all the other 2 bit jocks, so why not? Once he’s on the mic though, he says things like this:
— Marc James (@marcjames) September 24, 2018
That worthless creep @marcjames just casually announced on air that Malcom Butler was benched for screwing Steve Belichick's girl…some station you have there @WEEI incredible talent like @AlexReimer1 as well @JoeZWEEI #turnofyourradio
— rdugdale (@rddug) February 2, 2019
Scumbag predator throwing smears at players and coaches? That’s the Boston sports media way! Don’t worry, you won’t find the audio anywhere. It’s probably scrubbed. Thanks Mr. Zambrano!
Last year marked ten years after the Boston Herald had to do some serious cleaning up after Tomase shat all over the Patriots.
Well a year ago today, they had to do the exact same thing regarding Ron Borges. Thanks to a kind citizen named “Nick in Boston”, he exchanged many texts with Borges claiming to be the agent of Jimmy Garoppolo and Tom Brady, Don Yee. These texts, seemingly very salacious for Borges, seemed to suggest that Brady would not show up to OTAs unless he got a contract similar to the one Garoppolo had signed earlier that week.
— Mut & Callahan (@MutCallahan) February 9, 2018
Borges is done. pic.twitter.com/QTWknE4dLK
— Mut & Callahan (@MutCallahan) February 9, 2018
The story was written, the editors (?) approved it, and it was published. Unfortunately for them the story was debunked 3 ways to Sunday. Around 7:30 AM the next day the story was taken off of the website, but it was too late.
— Tom E. Curran (@tomecurran) February 9, 2018
An apology followed:
A column by Ron Borges in today’s Herald regarding Patriot Tom Brady’s salary discussions was based on information which proved to be false.
The Herald apologizes to Brady, his agent Don Yee and the Patriots, and to our readers for this erroneous report.
Borges’ column has been suspended pending further review.
…and with it, Borges was never to be seen or heard from again.
Oh wait. He was heard from again. Just this past week voting on behalf of the Herald for the Pro Football HOF.
Richard Seymour is currently up for debate. He is being presented by Ron Borges, Boston Herald pic.twitter.com/U4gPizhXkJ
— Pro Football Hall of Fame (@ProFootballHOF) February 2, 2019
Happy 1 year anniversary, Ron!
Here at BJBSJ, we are an equal opportunity offender. Anyone can “get this smoke” as the kids say. And that includes those in the media who claim to be the biggest fans the world has ever seen. For those fans, as we have come to find out, are just shoe pissers with very large platforms and followings.
One of those happens to be Barstool Sports’ own (and formerly WEEI’s) Jerry Thornton. Just days after the Super Bowl he wrote an article proclaiming everyone else was wrong and HE was the only one who knew the team was capable all along.
When Do All the Patriots Haters Admit I've Been Right All Along and Apologize? https://t.co/X6MfEReYq6
— Jerry Thornton (@jerrythornton1) January 24, 2019
I wouldn’t have been this braggadocious if I were him. Receipts exist for a reason, folks.
Get your umbrellas and ponchos ready folks because the forecast calls for a steady drowning in pee.
Acting like you didn't jump off the cliff in September 😂😂😂 https://t.co/rVsCCHhVZM
— Dont'a Boomhauer (@designatedkyle) December 31, 2018
From December 17th 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/KY9THHR9rS
— Dont'a Boomhauer (@designatedkyle) December 31, 2018
— Displaced Bostonian (@Ironhead334) October 21, 2018
Oh no ladies and gentlemen, the storm isn’t over yet. Stay inside of your basements and grab shelter. This downpour is steady.
Ouch. Now, we aren’t doing this to bag on a Patriots fan. But this Patriots fan happens to still be cool with (and has had very cordial conversations online with) the Boston equivalent of the UniBomber and the guy who shot JR on “Dallas”. See for yourself.
— Jerry Thornton (@jerrythornton1) July 20, 2016
I call shenanigans. You were thinking Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash. Takes a Bronie to know a Bronie https://t.co/FGjpxmog9Y
— Jerry Thornton (@jerrythornton1) July 20, 2016
Yes, John Tomase. The same John Tomase responsible for the entire galaxy thinking that the Patriots taped the Rams’ practices in 2001. A report that was reported on by Hannah Storm on ESPN a few years ago and then CORRECTED at 2AM the next morning. A report in which Eric Dickerson, Marshall Faulk and any other butthurt fan or player still sites TO THIS DAY. The same John Tomase who once claimed he doesn’t even watch football….
We know that isn’t true. Or maybe it is. Who can tell the difference? But why play footsie and talk My Little Pony of all things with that guy? Here was his explanation on why he never said anything to him or about him during his tenure at WEEI.
On one hand that is a terrible thing to be shut out of any chance to confront the guy. Making a living and paying your bills is a mindset we all have to live by at one point or another. But your dignity has to be intact at the end of the day. You can’t be online beating your chest Tarzan style proclaiming yourself the “biggest defender of the wall” and then when the biggest test of them all comes along you swallow a shrink ray and become a mute. You can make money plenty of different ways. But “defending the wall” against the guy who is the reason there is even a need for a wall to be defended is priceless.
And then the shoe pissing during games doesn’t help matters either. It all seems disingenuous. And hypocritical. Oh well, time for another “S&^t Pats Fans Say: 2019 offseason Edition!”