Cry.

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03/06/2020 Cleaning Out The Sports Junk Drawer

A Vacation for my Birthday? You shouldn’t have. Really.

I’m just about ready to append the ‘oft-injured’ descriptor to Chris Sale.

You can’t let someone named ‘LeVert’ drop 50 on you, Celtics.

Get well soon, Johnny Boychuck.

Tom Brady is so ready to leave, he’s not even buying any green avocados! Wait, what?

Pop Smoke died? Was it emphysema? Is he survived by Lil Juul? So many questions.

Release the findings, Manfred!

Are lobster rolls back at the 99’s?

Cakes are cooking for David Gilmour, Dick Fosbury, Kiki Dee, and Eddie Deezen.

Way to find the back of the net in OT, Torey Krug. Served those cheap-shotting Floridians right.

Has anyone investigated whether aluminized rubber workout tracksuits cause adult onset attention-deficit disorder? It would explain Parcells, ahkay?

So long, Lunchpail Jackie Welch.

How many people saw The Invisible Man this past weekend?

Remember, this week’s Phrase That Pays is; ‘thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin!’

So all COVID is SARS, but not all SARS is COVID, is that right?

Speaking of Corona virus, I hear they are thinking of playing pro sports games without any fans in attendance. The Tampa Bay Rays have been preparing for that for years!

It’s not fair that Pat Mahomes didn’t win any delegates on Super Tuesday.

Big match upcoming against Bournemouth for Liverpool.

Blehhhhh! Snow on the Cape and Islands! Blehhhh!

Wyoming earns a spot in the Toiurnament with two well-timed wins.

It’s ok to admit you’re worried that the doctors might have confused David Ortiz for Chris Sale and MRI’ed his elbow by mistake. It happens.

Nice work on Senior Night, Diallo & Pipkins.

It’s fun to say ‘Pipkins’.

Knicks management versus Spike Lee may be the new Iran/Iraq we’ve all been waiting for.

I hope Tom Brady can stay in better contact with his people during HIS vacation than I could during mine!

Honk if you remember The Naked i.

Big ups to Kevin and Mike on Route One for their invaluable assistance these past few weeks.

I like the cut of this Ashley Buzzy McHugh’s jib.

Don’t bobble those incoming huuuuge paychecks, Tony Romo.

Do you think Ger Callahan just as a matter of reflex this time of year goes up to minorities at picnic tables and talks to them? I bet he does.

Best bet for the weekend: the EUFA Champions League Round of 16.

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2/28/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

X. F. L. Here to stay.

-This will be shorter than the usual drawer, load management, folks.

-So, that Wilder/Fury heavyweight fight. That was something!

-Let’s say the Red Sox management group were actively trying to be the fourth most popular team in town. What would they be doing differently?

-Don’t know about you, but I’d rather listen to avocados grow than another second of baseless, sourceless Tom Brady speculation.

-Aloha means ‘goodbye’. Aloha, Backes and Heinen.

-Aloha also means ‘hello’. Aloha, whoever they got back.

-Great game Sunday, Celtics. However, there’s no beating the Lakers on Kobe Bryant night. Sorrreey!

-Remember, this week’s Phrase That Pays is “Wail on, Skydog!”

-Bleeehh! Emergency backup goalie storrreey! Bleeehh!

-I’m hearing whispers that as an austerity measure, John W. Henry didn’t purchase the Wilder/Fury fight.

-I’ll bet the worst thing about being locked up is missing the Globe’s daily Mindy Kaling updates.

-I think the XFL has already outlived the AAFL, or whatever it was called.

-Cakes are cooking for Tony Robbins and Ja Rule.

-I’m not worried about the Tampa Bay Lightning.

-David Ortiz defending cheaters? Say it ain’t so!

-Honk if you remember Tank on Sports on WBCN.

-Gonna guess that the guy from Staind is gonna feel the pinch of no more WAAF royalty plays.

-I can neither confirm nor deny that Kobe’s family requested a private internment to keep that demented elf Spike Lee from crawling inside the coffin.

-Best bet for the weekend: a wasted leap day.

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Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer 2/26/20

-Wow, there were more cars on the infield at Daytona than players during a bunting drill. See, it always comes back to baseball, Danny!

-Plenty of good seats available at Fenway! Tickets still on sale! So good, so good!

-Maybe Tatum is a good kid, too.

-Kevin Garnett says Charlie Villanueva was like a dog-faced pony boy to his team.

-Maybe Brad Keselowski wouldn’t have spun out if he used full price tires instead of shopping at Town Fair Tire.

-Shocked to learn that John Henry’s favorite player was Stan Musial. He seems way too young and virile for that to be the case!

-Don’t make me take the Steelers’ side, Myles Garrett.

-If there Red Sox had a mailing address in New Hampshire, I bet they wouldn’t have to pay the competitive balance tax and kept Mookie.

-Is that place that re-enamels your Faberge eggs still on Mineral Spring Ave.?

“Getting under the CBT threshhold’ sounds like something Gronk would have been unable to do in order to play last season.

-Did Ryan Newman drive over an old sewing machine during overtime in Daytona?

-It’s not fair Patrick Mahomes didn’t get to drive during overtime.

-Rhubarb, rhubarb, raspberry rhubarb.

-Very unfair a Toyota winning Daytona after Trump visit! Time for tariffs?

-Andy Hart may have a shiny forehead and no qualifications to work in media, but he’s correct that Pro Football Focus is fraudulent.

-Does the the interim designation for Ron Roenicke mean that he can’t upgrade his NESN slam piece until *after* the All-Star Break?

-Good for the Celtics retiring #5. Get fucked, Ray Allen.

-Mr. Peanut died? I didn’t know he was sick!

-I want to buy a Snickers bar. Advertising works!

-Carol Channing was the halftime entertainment the previous time the Chiefs were in the Super Bowl. I bet Mahomes’ kid brother would have loved that! Hello, Frisco!!

-Who makes Jay Glazer’s Neoprene-tight suits? Hobie or Body Glove? Weirdo.

-Coal-powered cares are all the rage in 2020, I see.

-Cheri for Red Sox manager, Merle for bench coach. Who says no?

-The Houston Rockets are playing “Rock N Roll Part 2”. Just saying, Gillette Stadium.

-Fraggle Mahomes 1, Muppet Volin 0. Cold comfort. Maybe Jimmy can rebound on Super Tuesday.

-I’m no Adam Silver, but I think that definitely the best time to make decisions about changing league logos and retired numbers rules is immediately after a tragedy when everyone is hysterical with grief. That’s just science.

-Honk if you remember Wacky Water Writers.

-Bob Kraft is running out of time to plead guilty before his case gets dismissed.

-That NBA All-Star game; what a fourth quarter! Amirite?

-People who claim to be allergic to dogs? Fakers. Mostly.

-Best bet for the weekend? The Seattle Dragons. XFL!

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BJBSJ’s First Theatrical Release

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll be asked to pay extra for your tickets and the movie will end prematurely!

Coming in July, BJBSJ proudly presents:

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2/8/2020 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

-Funny thing about an Irish Vacation, not so many Irishmen.

-Has the Boston Globe put out a special pull-out section about how baseball has always accepted sign stealing with a wink and a nod yet?

-Maybe the Great Kid Pasta can do it all himself.

-It’s always adorable when Marck James pretends to be as mad at the Celtics not making a trade as he is when a co-worker won’t go on a date with him.

-That kooky British Royal Family, amirite?

-Cakes are cooking for Charo, Regina King, and Pitbull.

-It’s a good thing the Winter Olympics aren’t in Australia this year.

-Sergeant Slaughter: Stolen Valor?

-Remember- if Jerome Boger and his crew were competent, the Patriots would have had the #2 seed and the bye.

-“The Cincinnati Tackmen squad in 1905 had carrier pigeons deliver stolen signs to Manager Swede O’ Malvey right in the dugout. Swede died of smallpox in 1907.” – The Boston Globe

-Dale Arnold pronounces it ‘defencemen’. I can tell.

-Eddie Coyle needed better friends.

-ESPN treats the NHL like CBS treats west coast viewers of ’60 Minutes’.

-I’m hearing that Mrs. Chris Curtis will petition the court for joint custody of his extra skin.

-I hope the straw boater hat makes a comeback this decade.

-Correction: “Tinsel” is not a contraction of ‘tin icicle’, it comes instead from the old French word ‘estincelle’, making to spark or flash. BJBSJ regrets the error.

-Honk if you remember the Movie Loft.

-“Philadelphia Quakers manager Spats Hettinger had a team employee rig a sodium arc light to flicker to signal pitches in 1911. By an odd coincidence, an electrical fire burned Friendship Field to the ground later that season.” – The Boston Globe

-Those surveyors don’t look to be doing anything.

-Laura Petrie was better looking than Mary Richards.

James Naismith had no middle name? I’ve been lied to.

-BJBSJ had #FireCora first.

-Don Imus dead? How could they tell?

-The last time they had a Super Bowl without the Patriots, Ed Markey was still a representative and Liz Warren was still an Indian. Heyooo!

-Wiggy, Fitzy, and Mut? Oh My!

-When you’ve been force fed too much Family Guy, you’d kill for an NCIS: New Orleans at top volume.

-The KC Chiefs mascot looks like a Chuck E. Cheese escapee.

-Related, Dale Arnold calls him, “Charles. Entertainment. Cheese.”

-Where’s Bob Hohler?

-The CBS promos for ‘Prodigal Son’ and ‘FBI Most Wanted’., I can’t tell them apart.

-Peyton Manning has been quiet. Too quiet.

-Maybe Alex Cora could get an Apple Watch endorsement?

-I took some comfort that in the Patriots ‘down year’, the Steelers still sucked.

-Honk if you remember Micronauts.

-Another year without a Super Bowl, means Aaron Rodgers had more time to go antiquing and to linen auctions, or whatever he does with Danica Patrick.

-Do they still make those Roos sneakers with the pockets?

-Kobe had to be thinking, “knocked from the top three NBA scorers…what else could go wrong this weekend?”

-Red Sox missed a golden opportunity not making Jason Varitek the manager.

-Bon Iver is pronounced “Bone Ivair”?

-Miami gets the Super Bowl, Orlando gets the Pro Bowl. Perfect.

-I’m pretty sure I caught the coronavirus at a meat market some years back, but that was at spring break in Cancun, not Wuhan.

-Absent evidence to the contrary, I’m going to assume that Billie Eilish has a Dominican birth certificate.

-The Red Sox didn’t make Dustin Pedroia the manager, either?

-Tanya Tucker…you still got it kid.

-“Kobe ‘Bean’ Bryant”? Or as Dale would call him, “Kobert. Legume. Bryant.”

-Is “He Hate Me” coaching in the XFL?

-AB gotta be AB. That’s what makes him AB.

-Known recluse Mike Eruzione is writing a book?

-So what happened to Nipsey Hussle? Leukemia?

-Ironically, it was the box of suds that got me here.

-To everyone saying it’s ironic that Kobe died the day after Lebron passed him in scoring. Even Alanis Morrissette knows you’re using it wrong.

-Honk if you remember “Candlepins for Cash”.

-Steve Grogan is not the Red Sox manager, either?

-Just to be safe, I got a flu shot. Couldn’t hurt. Except it did.

-So Chris Curtis has been out ‘recharging his batteries’? Is that what the interns are calling it these days?

-YOU didn’t play in the Super Bowl this year, caller!

-Kobe was killed, and it was all setup. At least that’s what my new roommate says.

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BJBSJ I-Team: The Latest on Greg Bedard Leaving Las Vegas

As usual, it seems Greg Bedard is telling Almost The Truth.

Yesterday, the BJBSJ I-Team reported the Las Vegas Review-Journal’s confirmation that Greg Bedard was no longer employed and refused further comment.

As recently as yesterday, Bedard had ‘NFL writer, Las Vegas Review-Journal’ in his Twitter bio. The Journal Review did not have Bedard listed as a columnist.

A Las Vegas source tells BJBSJ today that Bedard was fired by the Journal-Review for “insubordination” and dissatisfaction with his social media posts. The source believes Bedard was fired on Monday, January 20th (13 days before the Super Bowl), which would make sense as Bedard did not attend Super Bowl LIV or take part in Radio Row in Miami the week before the game. His last Review-Journal column was posted on 1/12/20. Bedard kept his LVRJ reference in his Twitter bio until BJBSJ’s report yesterday.

On Saturday, January 25 in a Boston Sports Journal members chat – 5 days after our source says Bedard was fired by the Review-Journal – Bedard was asked about his LVRJ work and responded cryptically.

That same day on Twitter, he boasted about his indefatigable work ethic:

This constant #Cullening makes complete sense, as Bedard is a former Globie.

While Bedard has removed LVRJ completely from his Twitter profile, his profile still refers to his other former media employers:

What happened in the 2.5 months Almost-A-Longterm Employee Bedard worked at the LVRJ to have him scrub his time there from his employment history? What is Almost-A-Cullen hiding?

We’ll continue to dig.

While Charred Finn plans Alex Verdugo’s Welcome Party, BJBSJ has it first.

Oh, Greg? Hi.

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Greg Bedard is Home!

After some soul searching(cough)lost his job in Vegas(cough), Greg Bedard is back and ready to reaffirm his commitment to his Wicked Diehard subscribers.

BUT!

What is the truth?

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Las Vegas Review-Journal Columnist Greg Bedard? I don’t see it. At all.

Friend of BJBSJ @bucknerslegs tweeted earlier today that Greg Bedard no longer works for the Las Vegas Review Journal, and it checks out as of 5:17pm ET on the Las Vegas Review Journal:

BJBSJ has confirmed with the Review-Journal newsroom this afternoon that Bedard is no longer an employee.  At all.  Bedard’s last piece for the LVRJ was posted on 1/12/20.

Bedard, the Not So Grand Poobah of the unlamented and unremarkable Boston Sports Jourinal has repeatedly come under fire since starting his Hyperlocal Vanity Project in 2017. The most recent criticisms for spinning ripping yarns for disarming convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez (presumably due to boredom) came from Barstool Sports’ Kirk Minihane Show.  Minihane’s discovery of Bedard’s serial #Cullening has also been a subject on the Entitled Town Podcast, hosted by Dave Brown of the Concord Monitor and I. 

It’s also noteworthy that Bedard’s investigation into hiring virulent homophobe and racist Mike Loyko appears to have, much like his working capital, petered out.

Bedard may still be #cullening, becuse as of 6pm ET today, he still has LVRJ in his profile:

While Charred Finn leads a rendition of “Sweet Caroline” at Truck Day, BJBSJ has it first. Again.

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Where in the World is Greg Bedard?

Greg Bedard, lately of the Las Vegas Review Journal, has been strangely absent from the paper since January 12th, where he was seen polishing Houston Texans Head Coach Bill O’Brien’s apples to a Felger-like glow.

People have noticed, despite the spiraling drop in the popularity of his bostonsportsjournal.com. Bedard addressed the question recently but gave no direct answers to his Wicked Diehard subscribers in a recent chat on BSJ:

Bedard also skipped the Super Bowl, which is HIGHLY IRREGULAR for a national NFL writer for a major metropolitan daily newspaper, especially one based in Las Vegas.

This is amusing, because Greg is the hardest working man in the news business. Just ask him. While all of this vacation and sabbatical is occurring, Bedard drops a tweet dripping of Cullen.

No Days Off

Dissatisfied with all this secrecy and half answers, BJBSJ’s own Ironhead, @ironhead334 reached out to the newsroom at the LVRJ to get down to the brass tacks of the situation.

Per our source in Sin City, “Greg Bedard is no longer employed by The Las Vegas Review Journal.”

Where this leaves Bedard is anyone’s guess. Rumors have been circulating for close to a year Bostonsportsjournal.com has been offered for sale high and low, with the Athletic, a private buyer, and, (stifles giggle) Jonathan Kraft rumored as being approached to take on the struggling site. Bedard is also rumored to have approached investors looking for as much as a 6 figure cash infusion. Regardless, the site has been clearly been struggling with new subscriptions nonexistent and longer subscription plans being removed from the sites offering.

What’s Greg’s next stop you ask? We’re all in on Chapter 11.

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