Breaking: Colonel Callahan Receives Another Medal

Citation: Colonel Gerry Callahan, United States Microphone Corps, distinguished himself by actions above and beyond the call of duty on 3 October 2018, while serving as a Radio Sniper, United States Microphone Special Board Operations Command with Task Force Maggot in Brighton, Massachusetts.

Colonel Callahan’s radio sniper team provided precision fire takes from the lead microphone during an assault on listener ears by a libtard caller all the while subjected to intense automatic caller ID masking software and without the aid of a dump button.

When Colonel Callahan learned that additional reinforcements were not immediately available to secure his tenuously held position, he and another radio radio sniper unhesitatingly volunteered to gang up on the caller, shouting him down and demand that he answer the binary and reductive question in a “yes or no” manner. He did all of this despite being well aware of the growing number of enemy radio personnel closing in on his ratings, even when you add in the Providence numbers.

After learning that his former partner requested insertion to his location, Colonel Callahan unhesitatingly signed a confession statement agreeing to not talk badly about the enemy, bravely sending his former partner to exile on the gitmo.com app. Equipped only with a mass of wild contradictions and a Whiny Baby Voice, Colonel Callahan fought his way through the winter ratings book; finishing as the second highest rated sports radio morning drive radio show in Boston. Colonel Callahan’s extraordinary heroism and devotion to duty were in keeping with the highest standards of radio service and reflect great credit upon him, his unit and the United States Microphone Corps.

He is hereby promoted, effective immediately, to Brevet Postmaster General.

(Report provided by Mike on Route 1)

Share:

Colonel Callahan has something important to say

Have to respect a guy like Gerry who stands up for what he believes. The Colonel has strapped on his assault rifle and he’s ready to go to war against political correctness. Surely this has nothing to do with the side of the political spectrum Tucker Carlson speaks for. Callahan would stick up for anybody who dared to make a joke or two that might cross that imaginary line.

Oh wait…

Nevermind.

Share:

When Sports Radio Is Life…..

Share:

When You’re Proud of Attacking a Toddler

https://nesn.com/2018/02/weeis-alex-reimer-apologizes-for-calling-tom-bradys-daughter-a-pissant/

Share:

Patriots Trade for Michael Bennett

Share:

Week 1 February Ratings

Live look at WEEI HQ

Disclaimer: Arbitron ratings blocks are 6-10am / 10am-3pm / 3pm – 7pm and 7PM – midnight. The ratings are broken down below by the show appearing in the majority of the hours listed. Total ratings do not include the WEEI knee-jerk excuse of Providence numbers or streaming.

AM Drive: Touch & Rick 13.2, Mut & Callahan 9.6

Middays: Zo & Beetle 15.1, Dull & Teeth 8.5

PM Drive: Mike & The Lap Dog 13.7, OMFG 7.8

Evenings: Spindly Arms 6.8, WEEI’s Amalgam of Suck 2.4

A few thoughts for Week 1 February:

  • Ordway drawing lower ratings than Rich Teeth makes me giddy.
  • An unreal job by Joe Zarbano to take 2 deck chairs on the HMS WEEI and weaken both spots.
  • Joey Z is the Picasso of Tankapalooza.
  • The Mom Jeans of Sportzradio are officially a wagon, bro. The Wagon Queen Family Truckster, but still a wagon.
  • Zo & Beetle are beating Mike & The Lap Dog. Crossing fingers that declining ratings for Felcher, Mazz, Large Gymnasium and Catlover become a trend. Nana Felcher is approaching Callahan levels of mailing it in.

While Chard Finn sleeps (after giving Uncle Joe Castig the Orchid Day Spa off-menu special), BJBSJ will keep you updated regularly with ratings.

Share:

Take Two: January Radio Ratings

They’re in. Really.

These are the real deal, promise. They’ve been doubly sourced and doubly vetted as true. If they’re not, we’ll refund you the full cost of your invaluable #BJBSJ subscription.


Disclaimer: Arbitron ratings blocks are 6-10am / 10am-3pm / 3pm – 7pm and 7PM – midnight. The ratings are broken down below by the show appearing in the majority of the hours listed. Total ratings do not include the WEEI knee-jerk excuse of Providence numbers or streaming.

Here we go:

AM Drive: Toucher and Rich 12.2 (1st overall), Mut & Callahan 8.3 (2nd):

The Mom Jeans of SportzRadio score a decisive win over Mut & The Mailman.

Middays: Zolak & Bertrand 15.3 (1st), Dale & Keefe 6.9 (3rd)

Not “nice” for Dull and Teeth – the Washington Generals are nervous. A suggestion for Z&B: Wet the beak of ol’ Joey Zarbano to make sure Dull & Teeth stay in your time slot.

PM Drive: Felger & Massarotti 15.1 (1st), Ordway, Merloni, and Fauria 6.8 (3rd)

We had it first: Magician Rich Teeth makes ratings disappear, but the OMFers take a shitty lead-in and perform even more abysmally.

Evenings:  WBZ-FM 9.1 (1st), WEEI-FM 4.1 (t9)

Let’s just say the Bruins and the Celtics win this slot, because no one wins when Spindly-Armed Joansie, Spindly-Brained Arcand, and a Blackmailing Pissant are the choices.

Weekends, 6am – Midnight:

WBZ-FM 7.8 (1st), WEEI-FM 4.1 (10th): CBS’s shitty fill-ins are more popular than Entercom’s shitty fill-ins.



January Overall, Mon-Sun 6am to Midnight:

WBZ-FM 12.6 (1st), WEEI-FM 6.6 (3rd)

It’s a rout for 985, again. Joe Zarbano’s Tankapalooza is plunging to new depths, something only Rachel Phelps could truly appreciate.

COMING TOMORROW: Week 1 February 2019 ratings.

Share:

Mediot In Focus: Alex Reimer

One word immediately comes to mind when considering Alex Reimer: Impressive.

Reimer didn’t lose his job after blackmailing a co-worker struggling with alcoholism? Reimer manages to be the least talented ‘talent’ (non Hannable-division) at a station that employs Rich Teeth? Reimer wasn’t canned after verbally attacking the 5 year old daughter of his station’s most important guest?

Impressive.

Alex Reimer doesn’t work for WEEI because he’s talented. Alex Reimer works at WEEI because he’ll say or write anything his overlords demand in exchange for the salary of a Rite-Aid cashier. Outlandish, irresponsible, libelous? All the better! He’s an intellectual without intellect trying to con you into believing him, a man without beliefs. He lives for the next take, another empty-vessel dummy on the air.

In Reimer’s defense, some of this isn’t his fault – you could consider him Patient Zero of Hot Takez Nation. He was a young, stupid, impressionable kid addicted to the radio, enamored with the Big Show’s Talking Radio Men. Glenn Ordway is the Catholic priest luring his victim:

Hey, kid – Wanna see my Whiney?  

Viewed through that lens, Alex is the victim and this abuse is a tragedy… Unfiltered.

Were the Whiney Awards simply a cover for an international sex trafficking ring? I’m Just Asking The Question, reader!

But to hell with victimizing Reimer, because he’d probably love it.

In an industry of worsts, Reimer is The Worst. He lives for attention, negative or otherwise. The BJBSJ Powers That Be debated whether to even address Reimer, fearing he’d love being loathed enough to have a hit piece done on him.

This hit piece wraps up by asking you to take The Reimer Pledge:

  • Don’t give him clicks. (We’ll read it so you won’t have to.)
  • If he’s on WEEI, turn the fucking station.

Reimer in print is bad, but Reimer on the radio is worse. Choosing to consume any content by Alex Reimer is the epitome of a Bad Idea: It, unprotected, sucks.

After all – when am I going to be in the New Balance Studios again?

Share:

BJBSJ Smoke Show of the Day – Reimer’s Mom

Representing the Cougar Division

Stifler’s mom needs to do some work to keep up!

Wine
More wine
Wine Wine Wine. I like wine
0069
On the Prowl
Share:

Keefespiracy: Dick Teeth Is A Lizard Person

Keefespiracy: Dick Teeth Is A Lizard Person

As you may unfortunately know, Rick “Rich” “Teeth” Keefe is a conspriacy theorist. Get it? Like Rainier Wolfcastle says: that’s the joke. It’s funny, right? Like did we actually land on the moon, or nah? He’s really sticking it to you moon truthers. In a world where staring off blankly into space wearing Mizuno batting gloves and holding a whiffle ball bat is also seen as subversive, Rick Keefe is our overlord.

But here’s a Keefespriacy that will blow your dick back: the man is a lizard person.

The evidence:

  • He appears to have a lifeless response to many forms of conversation, almost as if he is simulating human interaction. Why would someone respond so frequently to another person speaking with “ok” and “yup?” There is such a thing as being a good active listener. But this is not an example of that – this is something else entirely.
  • Why does he repeat a fragment of what a speaker just said? If, for example, his corpulent co-host says “Ho ho I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention one Raymond Jean Bourque…” why on earth does Rick parrot back “You’d be remiss if you didn’t mention…” trailing off as if he’s processing the information? It’s simply because he is taking the thought into his brain and taking the time to process it from human to lizard and back to human so he may carry on some semblance of a conversation.
  • While seemingly an evolved humanoid, it at times becomes very difficult for Rick to disguise his latent reptilian tendencies. Lizard people are cunning and very adept at integrating into society, but on their own, they are not great thinkers. When exposed to repeated behavior around them that resembles that of their own species it has been known to exacerbate their lizardness – to act as a force multiplier. To wit: Decades of exposure to stupid takes and opinions from HUMANS has unalterably reverted Rick’s lizard brain back to its most base reptillan state, making it more and more difficult to hide. This is why a human might feel some sense of shame or regret when repeatedly making stupid predictions with 100% confidence. Rick’s brain has been rewired so it cannot feel those emotions. So despite twenty years of evidence that Bill Belichick knows what he is doing, Rick cannot help but react in his most base, lizardlike way.

I think it would be a grave mistake to hate Rick for his stupidity. Instead, we should celebrate the fact that a dull little lizard boy has grown up to reach the heights of being demoted to middays on the second highest rated sports station in Boston. Boston – Hub of the Lizard People Universe.

Authored by Mike on Route 1

Share: